Odo quotes from Deep Space Nine

Julian Bashir

I'm sure there's more than one Klingon who thinks that slaying a Changeling would be worthy of a song or two.

Odo

Doctor, if a Klingon were to kill me, I'd expect an entire opera on the subject.

Odo

Come on, Quark, move it along. You should be in the emergency shelter by now.

Quark

I'm not going to any emergency shelter! This is my bar and I'm going to defend it.

Odo

Really? And how do you plan to do that?

Quark

With this. (holds up a closed box)

Odo

You're going to hit them with a box?

Quark

No, this is my disruptor pistol, the one I used to carry back in the old days when I was serving on that Ferengi freighter.

Odo

I thought you were the ship's cook.

Quark

That's right, and every member of that crew thought he was a food critic. If the Klingons try to get through these doors, I'll be ready for them.

Odo

(reads aloud) "Dear Quark, I used parts of your disruptor to fix the replicators. Will return them soon. Rom."

Quark

(grabs the note) I will kill him!

Odo

With what?

Benjamin Sisko

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Constable... but there are times when I wish you'd never found your people.

Odo

Believe me, Captain, sometimes I feel the same way.

Kira Nerys

I've been meaning to ask you—why don't you wear that belt anymore?

Odo

I don't know. Didn't seem to serve a purpose. It's not as if I needed it to hold my pants up.

Kira Nerys

I just thought it looked good on you, that's all.

Odo

[Brightening considerably] Really?

Kira Nerys

[Smiles] Really.

Odo

Better?

Kira Nerys

Much.

Odo

Forgive me, Major, I don't mean to be difficult, but your faith seems to have led you to something of a contradiction.

Kira Nerys

I don't see it as a contradiction.

Odo

I don't understand.

Kira Nerys

That's the thing about faith. If you don't have it, you can't understand it. And if you do, no explanation is necessary.

Quark

[to Odo] All I'm saying is if you're going to prosecute me, I demand you prosecute my co-conspirator!

Dr. Julian Bashir

I'm not a conspirator!

Odo

And just what would you call yourself, Doctor?

Bashir

An idiot...

Quark

[under his breath] I'll buy that.

Bashir

[scowls at Quark] For asking for your help in the first place!

Worf

Where did you get that... thing?

Odo

From a man named Cyrano Jones. He told me tribbles like everyone. Well, this one doesn't seem to like you.

Worf

THE FEELING'S-- [lowers his voice] The feeling's mutual. They are detestable creatures!

Odo

Hm... interesting. It's been my observation that most humanoids love soft, furry animals, especially if they make pleasing sounds.

Worf

They do nothing but consume food and breed. If you feed that thing more than the smallest morsel, in a few hours you'll have ten tribbles, then a hundred, then a thousand!

Odo

Calm down.

Worf

They were once considered mortal enemies of the Klingon Empire.

Odo

[scoffs] This?! A mortal enemy of the Empire?

Worf

They were an ecological menace, a plague to be wiped out.

Odo

Wiped out?! What are you saying?!

Worf

Hundreds of warriors were sent to track them down throughout the galaxy. An armada obliterated the Tribble homeworld. By the end of the 23rd century, they had been eradicated.

Odo

Another glorious chapter of Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of the Great Tribble Hunt? [chuckles]

Odo

Mr. Worf.

Worf

They are Klingons. And, it is a long story.

O'Brien

What happened? Genetic engineering?

Bashir

A viral mutation?

Worf

We do not discuss it with outsiders!

Worf

You are no hero to the Empire!

I will be. I've been thinking about my statue in the Hall of Warriors. I want it to capture my essence. Our statues can be so generic, don't you think?

Odo

I take it whatever your plan is, you've already set it in motion?

I see myself standing with Kirk's head in one hand...and a tribble in the other.

Odo

(after Dulmer and Lucsly have left) Did you tell them?

Sisko

They didn't ask. I'm open to suggestions, people.

Odo

Interesting that a simple tailor should just happen to have a high-level security code.

Yes, isn't it? And if my nose didn't hurt so much, I'd tell you a fascinating story about how I came to possess it.

Odo

I see I'm going to have to add the word "pickpocket" to your resume.

It's only a hobby.

By the Prophets, Odo, I wasn't even sure you were a life-form.

Odo

I wasn't sure about you, either.

If it wasn't for me, you'd still be sitting on a shelf somewhere in a beaker labeled 'unknown sample'."

Odo

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be a nobody. Starfleet wouldn't hire you to judge a science fair!"

Odo

Sir, have you ever reminded Starfleet Command that they stationed Eddington here because they didn't trust me?

Benjamin Sisko

No.

Odo

Please do.

Bashir

What is this all about, Odo? You didn't come here to talk to me about women. [Odo looks away] Did you? [realizing] Aaah. This is about "Bedroom Eyes", isn't it?

Odo

Who told you about her? Kira?

Bashir

Nope.

Odo

Dax.

Bashir

Actually, it was Miles.

Bashir

[continuing] If people are talking, it's only because they care. You put on a good front. But anyone who really knows you can tell that you're lonely. If you're interested in this woman, you have to let her know.

Odo

I can't.

Bashir

Why not?

Odo

What if I— What if she—

Bashir

Rejects you? She might. But you can't go through life trying to avoid getting a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway. So you might as well take the chance. If you don't, she'll move on and you'll never know what you might have had. And living with that is worse than having a broken heart. Believe me.