(George sees Dolores bring a basket to her cubicle.)
George [voiceover]: If this is Murray the dead cat, I'm so outta here.
S1 E5Reaping Havoc
Why do I keep losing all the things and people that I care about?
That's what life is, Peanut.
S1 E6My Room
[Rube, George and Mason are in Der Waffle Haus and Mason sees Daisy walk inside.]
Oh, bloody hell.
[To Casey, the waitress] Diet Coke, chipped ice, but not too much.
I think this is about Betty. I think George has her own Warren Commission in her head and somehow has implicated me in Betty's disappearance. Am I right or am I right?
[To Rube] Can you pass me the ketchup?
[To Daisy] How you doin'?
I don't think so.
[To George] That's all you want from me? The ketchup? 'Cuz the ketchup I can handle. But the guilt trip about Betty, that I can not. I don't know where Betty is.
[To Daisy] Ah- hem. Um, hello? I'm Mason.
I don't think so.
[To George] What does that mean?
It means she hates you.
You lost your friend, Peanut, I'm sorry. Reapers come and go. That's life.
[voiceover] I missed Betty like crazy. I had a thousand and one questions, and I didn't know where to begin. Where was she? Was she o.k.? Was she coming back? What did Rube know? Somebody had to confront Rube and ask these questions. And, hopefully this person will be along soon.
[To Casey] This isn't chipped ice.
CCasey
We don't have chipped ice. All we got's cubes.
Well, if you have cubes, and an ice pick, then you have chipped. Do you, Casey, have an ice pick?
CCasey
Mm- hm. Ya. A nice one.
Well, then I think we need to start over.
[To Casey] Uh, you see that Diet Coke? Thats on me.(To Daisy): I'm Mason.
[To Mason] You're a fuckin' moron.
[To Rube] Is your name Rube?
It is.
Well, I'm Daisy. Daisy Adair.
Well, you're two days early, Daisy Adair.
Well, aren't you lucky?
This is Mason, as we know. And this is George. Daisy's one of us. Daisy's a reaper.
[To George] George? Is that your given name?
Georgia.
That's much prettier, I think I'll call you Georgia.
[voiceover] I hated her instantly. With all my guts.
What is she doing here?
She was transfered.
From...?
New York! SoHo.
Why were you transfered?
Well, that's kind of personal.
CCasey
[To Daisy] One Diet Coke. Chipped ice.
Thank you so much, Casey.
So, Daisy. Now, seriously, that Diet Coke is on me.
(Daisy and Mason giggle and Daisy pours her Diet Coke on Mason.)
Ah!
Excuse me, Miss! I need a refill.
[voiceover] I hated her a little less.
[George is standing outside the bathroom in her apartment, waiting, agitated, for Daisy to finish.]:
You know Daisy, I have a job, I mean what do you do?
[Opens the door in a hurry, with a face masque on. Acting very Marilyn Monroe-ish.] Today I'm going to buy The New York Times, since you obviously don't have it delivered. Then I'm going to sit at that little corner shop and have a green tea and a muffin and then I'm going to look for a sweater set. This afternoon, if I'm so obligated, I’m going to collect someone's soul before they die. And if I look really pretty while I'm doing it well, then good for me. That's what I do, Georgia. [Slams the door shut]
ACAngus the Cook
Who's complaining about the eggs?
Oh, no complaints, just observations.
ACAngus the Cook
Such as?
The eggs are not good. Its normally a moot point at the a la carte price of $2.95. I love eggs. I love 'em fried, scrambled, soft-boiled, florentine. These I didn't love. So who do we blame - the hen or the cook?
[Angus glares at Rube]
Let's blame the hen.
[Angus walks away]
[offhand] He's a nice guy.
[shouting] Daisy? Listen, I have some things I want to say to you. You can't just move your shit into my apartment and kick me out of my own bed...
[crying] I never ever get a break. My mother abandoned me. My father... was never a father. I never really had a real home or even a place that I felt like I belonged. Why can't I belong. Why can't you accept me? I just want you to hold me. This life has been a collection of...disappointments and...heartache.
[George tries to comfort Daisy and suddenly Daisy stops crying]
And scene. Whew! "A collection of problems, disillusionment and unhappiness." Why do I always mutilate that line? Will you be a doll and help me run my lines? And please don't be afraid to stop me even if I'm off by one syllable, okay? Come on, it's magic time. Okay and... action!
[Daisy begins crying again. George throws the book down and storms off]
[The bowling team picks up George and cheers after she wins the game]
[voiceover] I felt something I had never felt before - a hand on my ass. Who the hell was cupping my ass? Probably that perv from I.S. [Looks at Delores] Oh God, I hope it was that perv from I.S. I also felt something else... that in some strange undead way, I was alive. I was flying.
S1 E7Reaper Madness
I know this is cliché to hate your boss but you're a real dickweed.
What you're feeling right now, the rage and frustration all knotted together, binding everything from your head to your digestive tract? That's my life with you.
So, uh, do you hear a lot of voices?
No, just one. I call him the Shepherd.
Does he tell you what to do?
Well, he doesn't control me. He spends most of his time yelling at me and making me feel stupid.
Hmmm... maybe it's my mother.
I knew it, you're Death.
No no. I'm just a small cog in the system.
Then Rube is Death.
No Rube is...middle management.
[voiceover] I'm not a big fan of weddings, but a job is a job. So I sat there watching those 50 happy people gathered to celebrate a marriage, dressed in their Sunday best, about to hear some priest's flowery words about the joining together of two souls, uniting as one... blah, blah, blah, blah... until death do them part, which would be in about 11 minutes.
What is it you wanted to say?
I just wanted to kiss you.
No...No way. I can't.
[Ronnie leans in and kisses George.]
[voiceover] It was my first post-death kiss. That alone made it memorable.
Actually, I came to say good-bye.
[voiceover] It was also my first post-death kiss-off.
S1 E8A Cook
[Casey the waitress brings the reapers' order to the table, setting plates before Rube and George]
[gesturing at his plate] What fresh hell is this?
CCasey
Corned beef hash and eggs.
Corned beef hash, I speak not only for myself but aficionados of the dish, is to be fried, with a crisp exterior. This is...I don't know what this is. I'm flummoxed.
It doesn't look good.
I do not say this phrase lightly, in this hallowed place: This is fucking inedible.
AAngus
Bang, another man down.
[referring to an old lady that George is about to reap]
How old do you think she is? I'm thinking 70.
I don't know. I'm not good at that.
It's not supposed to be good at it, its just a game - Guess someone's age.
How old are you? Like 35?
Yeah, you're not good at it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Like Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.