LNLarry Newman
Friends will come and friends will go, but I say... there's always room for a movie in which teenage girls take their clothes off.
S6Sex and Violence
LNLarry Newman
Which reminds me-- a minimum of 3 nude scenes, please? That's not including the scenes in the strip bar. I want this picture to be wall-to-wall boobs. Ok? This is gonna be a very good picture.
Jo, how can you expect me to concentrate if you're around all day?
Am I really that much of a distraction, Pacey? I mean, my desk is outside of your office. You can't even see me.
But I know you're there. And I would not have come as far as I have if you were 5 feet away from me all the time. I just wouldn’t. Trust me.
Really? And why is that?
Ok, now you're just milkin' this for all it's worth, aren't you? Fine. [Sighs] I wouldn't have been able to concentrate because every time you're 5 feet away from me or 25 feet away from me, for that matter... there's really only one thing that I want to do.
Do tell.
[Pacey kisses her]
S6Love Bites
[on the phone] Hi. Is this Potter's House of Pain?
This is Mistress Potter speaking.
Look, you like Harley, right?
She has her strong points. Ok. I mean, as long as we're talking man to man, yeah, I like her. A lot.
Well, good. Congratulations, man. 'Cause true feelings for a woman, that's about the best experience you're ever gonna have. I mean, it'll make you strong, it'll make you stupid, and it will definitely take you closer to being the man you want to be.
Yeah, I don't know why I should be taking advice from you. Like you're some kind of Yoda when it comes to the chicks.
Have you seen my date?
Tell me more, Sensei.
Hey. Ooh.
Yeah, I know. Kids today, huh?
That damn rap music.
And those baggy pants. Even with the damage to my unsuspecting eardrum, I did think that tonight was quite nice. Quite nice.
Yes. Quite. Perfect. It was... it's been a perfect night....Pace? I can't do this.
You can't do what?
Even when everything is perfect, being with you doesn't feel right, and I'm sorry. Look, everything tonight-- I mean, tonight was lovely and fun and... you've become this... I mean, this amazing man, but it doesn’t... I'm sorry. I don’t... I don't feel it. And I can't do this with you.
Ok, Joey, just slow down for a second.
No, Pace, it’s... it's true and... I'm sorry.
So what, you're scared. Right? You're scared. And so am I, believe me. And I'm scared because I don't know where this thing is going, Jo. As in, I think it could go anywhere. This could be it.
It won't be.
How could you possibly know that? I mean, really. Last week, you're onboard, and now you're just psychically telling me that this could never be something great. You can't possibly know that, because we don't know that, Joey.
And I'm sorry. I know that this is such a horrible thing to say.
But how? How could you know? And when did you make this decision, tonight? I mean, I thought tonight was going great.
It was. It was great.
So then when? And don't tell me that you're not scared, because I know that you are. I mean, I've known you too long and seen you push away too many good things to let you push me away right now. My whole life, Joey, my whole life you have been the most beautiful thing in my orbit. And my feelings for you were what proved to me that I could be great. And those feelings were stronger and were wiser and more persistent and more resilient than anything else about me.
Pacey, stop.
Jo—
Pacey!
When I was afraid of everything, I was never afraid to love you and I could love you again. I could. I’m telling you, this could...
Pacey, no. Pacey, stop! Eddie came back. I'm sorry. He came back last night. He came to the bar—
Oh. Okay.
Look, I'm sorry— [Pacey walks away]
And as my fist was rocketing towards his neck, I was just, like, you know, Patrick, you're a lover, not a fighter.
HHarley
That last part was pretty obvious. And as for the first part...
You mean the lover part?
HHarley
Not a chance.
Oh. Well, I didn't mean it literally. Well, yeah, I did, but... you know, that's not the reason I'm at the dance with you. I'm at the dance with you because if I weren't, you'd be with some other guy, and that would kill me.
HHarley
Because you like me?
Yeah.
HHarley
Nice speech. Pacey teach you that?
Yeah. Yeah, that and how to unhook a bra with one hand.
HHarley
Try it and you'll have one hand left.
S6Lovelines (aka The Eddie)
You excited about the hosting gig tonight?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah? Who knows? You could become the next Ryan Seacrest. You could borrow one of his man-blouses.
Want to make out?
No.
Good. That was your test, buddy. You break her heart again and I'm going to kill you. You got it?
Oh, my god! Where is he?
Who?
Who? Who? Oh, Jen, Jen. Sweet, sweet, Jen. Such an amusing facade, but it's of no use. You can't keep us apart. It's destiny, I tell you. Destiny. Jen, he was on my plane.
ACAdam Carolla
Ladies, put the claws back. No need to fight. Plenty of room on the Carolla coaster for everyone.
I'm afraid I won't meet the minimum-height requirement. It's nice to meet you. I got to go.
ACAdam Carolla
Well, what about you? You want to hop on board?
I wasn't talking about you, doofus. I'm kind of looking for Dr. Drew.
ACAdam Carolla
Pinsky?
Yes, yes! Do you know where he is?
ACAdam Carolla
That geezer's probably out casket shopping. He's old. He's an old man. He's old enough to be your grandfather. Whereas I, I'm just old enough to be your daddy. And plus, the guy's a bore. He's an amazing bore. He never stops talking about gonorrhea and hepatitis G. Believe me, I know. I have to share a hotel room with the guy. Cheap bastards.
Oh, my god. You've shared a room with him? Tell me something. Have you seen him naked?
ACAdam Carolla
Yes. Yes, I have.
Well, there's this, uh... girl that I have-- or had a relationship with.
ACAdam Carolla
She was a sex buddy?
No, she, uh... she was a girlfriend, actually, and we were together for several months up until this morning, when she dumped me like a sack of rotten trash. No explanation, no warning, no nothing.
DDr. Drew
Were there any warning signs? Any problems in the relationship?
No, none. Well... I did sleep with one of her friends.
ACAdam Carolla
But just one, right? Women don't--they don't mind that kind of stuff. Can't be that.
But she knew about it and it was before we got together, so that doesn't really count, right?
DDr. Drew
Have you simply tried asking for an explanation?
That's the thing. Every time I try to talk to her, she treats me like I'm Father Damien.
[They look at him strangely]
He was a leper.
ACAdam Carolla
Oh, sure. The famous leper, Father Damien. Drew, you wrote your thesis on Father Damien, did you not? All right. Listen, I say run. I mean, this chick's a head case. She's going to take you down, I promise.
Thank you, Adam, for that astute insight, but if you don't mind me saying so, I think that C.J.'S problems here are really subordinate to those of the many members of this audience who have actually paid good money to listen to your vastly under qualified advice.
ACAdam Carolla
You're so lucky I don't know what "subordinate" means, honey.
Um...ok, why don't we go to Mandy behind the screen? Mandy, what's your question? Mandy?
Oh. Hi. Sorry, no. Actually, my name is Audrey, and my question is specifically for Dr. Drew. Um, I'm about 5'7". I've got blond hair, blue eyes, great rack.
Audrey, question. Find it.
Oh, right. Ok. Well, um... several months ago, I realized that I had a serious problem with alcohol. I had all these negative feelings about my life, and I was using alcohol as my escape. And in the process, I hurt a lot of people that were very close to me. And if it hadn't been for those very same people, I probably would not have gotten the professional help that I needed. So after spending several weeks in a rehab facility in southern California, um... I guess my question to you is this, Dr. Drew-- how would you like to go back to my dorm room and play a little game I like to call "dirty doctor and naughty nurse?"
S6Catch-22
Good morning, gentlemen. I had sex with a beautiful woman last night. Now, this should not have happened. She was way out of my league, and I even like to think that I'm a fairly handsome guy, but I'm not that handsome, and I like to think that I'm pretty good in bed, but I'm not that good. How does something like that happen? I'll tell you. I'm 20 years old, and I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. I am making money... hand over fist... faster than I know how to spend it. And let's tell the truth. You all came here today because you're trying to escape the miserable bottom-feeding existence that you've been living that has denied you what is rightfully yours. If you want this for yourselves, you can have it. But I'm here to tell you, you will get your asses kicked on a daily basis, but you will learn. And ultimately, you will do what you were put on this earth to do, which is make money. Now, if any of you are still interested in this proposition, be here 9 A.M. Sharp Monday morning. If you are late, do not come into my building. Turn around, go home, and prepare yourselves for a life in retail. I'll see you then.
Do you think that I was just going out with David to prove something to myself?
Something about what?
Just to prove that I could do it, that I could be in a relationship. You know, have a boyfriend.
I don’t know. I mean, is that something that you feel like you needed to prove to yourself?
Yeah. Who wants to be that 35-year-old guy that's living alone and still going out to the bar scene trying to find the right person?
Give me a break. You're 20 years old. You're not even legally old enough to be in those bars, let alone haunt them with your sad, single self.
Yeah, that from the girl who was on a first-name basis with half the bouncers in New York.
Look, my point is is that I don't think that everybody meets the love of their life when they're a teenager. Or when they're 25. Or even when they're 35. But that doesn't mean that you stop looking and hoping. You know, 'cause you will meet that person, and when you do, I guess you know it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dawson's Creek pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.