C.J., Adam Carolla and others in “Lovelines (aka The Eddie)”

C.J.

Well, there's this, uh... girl that I have-- or had a relationship with.

She was a sex buddy?

C.J.

No, she, uh... she was a girlfriend, actually, and we were together for several months up until this morning, when she dumped me like a sack of rotten trash. No explanation, no warning, no nothing.

Were there any warning signs? Any problems in the relationship?

C.J.

No, none. Well... I did sleep with one of her friends.

But just one, right? Women don't--they don't mind that kind of stuff. Can't be that.

C.J.

But she knew about it and it was before we got together, so that doesn't really count, right?

Have you simply tried asking for an explanation?

C.J.

That's the thing. Every time I try to talk to her, she treats me like I'm Father Damien.

C.J.

He was a leper.

Oh, sure. The famous leper, Father Damien. Drew, you wrote your thesis on Father Damien, did you not? All right. Listen, I say run. I mean, this chick's a head case. She's going to take you down, I promise.

Jen

Thank you, Adam, for that astute insight, but if you don't mind me saying so, I think that C.J.'S problems here are really subordinate to those of the many members of this audience who have actually paid good money to listen to your vastly under qualified advice.

You're so lucky I don't know what "subordinate" means, honey.