C.J quotes from Dawson's Creek

Jen

You know... what happened to Audrey tonight... it's happened to me before... more than once, and... to watch it... to watch her go through it was... just weird. Now you know what a mess I am.

C.J.

I don't think you're a mess.

Jen

Well, then you haven't been paying very close attention tonight.

C.J.

No. You know... Jen, you didn't do anything wrong tonight. And whatever mistakes you have in your past, they're over, and they've obviously made you a more empathetic and more compassionate person, and I don't think that's such a bad thing.

CJ

Look, if what you told me about your past is true, then I'm guessin' what I don't understand is why the creeps and the scumbags who treated you so poorly got the benefit of your sex drive. Whereas guys like me who actually treat you fairly well... we get ridiculed for wanting to have sex with you.

Jen

Wow. Kudos to you, C.J. That is the nicest way that anybody's ever called me a slut.

C.J.

You excited about the hosting gig tonight?

Jen

Mm-hmm.

C.J.

Yeah? Who knows? You could become the next Ryan Seacrest. You could borrow one of his man-blouses.

C.J.

Well, there's this, uh... girl that I have-- or had a relationship with.

She was a sex buddy?

C.J.

No, she, uh... she was a girlfriend, actually, and we were together for several months up until this morning, when she dumped me like a sack of rotten trash. No explanation, no warning, no nothing.

Were there any warning signs? Any problems in the relationship?

C.J.

No, none. Well... I did sleep with one of her friends.

But just one, right? Women don't--they don't mind that kind of stuff. Can't be that.

C.J.

But she knew about it and it was before we got together, so that doesn't really count, right?

Have you simply tried asking for an explanation?

C.J.

That's the thing. Every time I try to talk to her, she treats me like I'm Father Damien.

C.J.

He was a leper.

Oh, sure. The famous leper, Father Damien. Drew, you wrote your thesis on Father Damien, did you not? All right. Listen, I say run. I mean, this chick's a head case. She's going to take you down, I promise.

Jen

Thank you, Adam, for that astute insight, but if you don't mind me saying so, I think that C.J.'S problems here are really subordinate to those of the many members of this audience who have actually paid good money to listen to your vastly under qualified advice.

You're so lucky I don't know what "subordinate" means, honey.