Make up your mind. Do you wanna be alive or in shape?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
We throw you in a cage with a couple of abominable snowmen, and if you get out alive, you'll be stronger!
[Candy eats more than one piece of magic broccoli, making her more muscular.]
Holy country-style potato salad, Candy, you're huge!
You know, Candy don't sound tough enough. From now on, you call me... "The Can".
[After Candy shows off her strength by picking up an Ox and kicking it like a football.]
BBiceptia
Uhh, you win.
[Dave asks where Candy is.]
Outside, wrestlin' trees!
[Fang tries to wrestle Candy.]
Fang good necklace! Pretty!
Stop it, Fang! Violence won't help- wow, you're right, she does make a good necklace.
Candy, I'd like you to read this book on the Dangers of magic broccoli-
No books! Books make The Can hurt in place where thinks come from!
GHGalder the Hot
Hey, The Can? Remember we made a picnic date? I just... wanted to cancel that.
Why hearty boy do this?
GHGalder the Hot
'Cause the... the sun broke.
Yea, our heroes do seek the Master of Evolution, going on a long and perilous journey, which is pretty stupid because the Master of Evolution lives right next door to them.
Have no fear? I'm guessing you don't know Dave.
MEMaster of Evolution
You people have no idea how much work it is to evolve something, do you!? I spent a billion years just trying to get something with a spine!
[The Royal Family tries to educate Candy via a puppet show.]
[High-pitched voice.] We're gonna sing about colors!
DFDave and Fang
[Singing.] Red and blue and yellow! Red and blue and yellow!
[The Master of Evolution refuses to evolve Candy's body after her family fails at evolving her mind.]
What if I hang you from tree, and learn you new game called, "Piñata?"
[The Master of Evolution evolves Candy.]
METhe Master of Evolution
Presto, evolve-o. [Snaps fingers.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.