I just heard I'll be working the hat check room at the ball. So many hats... It's like a... A beautiful dream.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Candy screams at the sight of her zit.]
What is it!? A monstrous ogre!? An ogreous monster!? Tell me quick so I'll know the best way to run away!
A little magic, I'll have that hideous thing off your face faster than you can say, "get this hideous thing off my face".
Get this hideous thing-
Gitripozene!
[Uncle Oswidge turns Candy into a stack of magazines.]
Hey, look! It's the Pillaging Illustrated swimsuit issue!
Move your hand one inch closer, and you'll be pulling back a stump.
Uncle Oswidge, I could kiss you! If you weren't so short, and old, and ugly, and smelly.
I'm not that short.
Um... You wanna dance?
PPank
Sure. Wait... you mean with... you?
[The Zit kidnaps Candy.]
Hank! Do something!
PPank
[Looking at his pants.] Uh... I think I just did.
Okay, I'll do it. But only if I don't have to fight the monster.
Of course you have to fight the monster! What're you gonna do, bake him a pie!?
But everybody loves pie!
TTed
You know what I hate most about eating people?
SStu
When their shoes get caught in your teeth?
TTed
Bingo!
ZZit
I am Sebacious D. Wisehop. But you may can call me, "Zit".
I'm Princess Candy.
ZZit
I know, I used to be on your forehead.
Why did you grab me?
ZZit
Because I'm a monster! An evil, bloodthirsty, uncivilized monster! Who's totally in love with you!
[Candy tells Dave that zit cream never works.]
Oh no? Well, this is New-and-Improved Zit-B-Gon!
ZZit
[Gasps.] Not New-and-Improved Zit-B-Gon! With the miracle ingredient XV-17, zits don't stand a chance against Zit-B-Gon! Now available in regular or grape!
Don't cry, Candy. You're still young. As a teenager, you'll have a lot more chances to fall in love! And if not, at least you'll have a lot more zits!
[In this episode Dave, Fang, Candy, Oswidge, and Faffy create a band with a donkey.]
[singing] Donkey chum, donkey chum Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, donkey chum! Love my donkey or you are dumb! Donkey chum, donkey chum, donkey chum! [screams]
[Uncle Oswidge invents rock 'n' roll after hearing Fang's version of "Donkey Chum".]
I'll call it rock 'n' roll. Cause it feels like you're being hit with a rock, and I'm hungry for a roll.
[Fang explains how she knows how to play the lute.]
Since when do you play the lute?
It's a long story. See, there was this bug...
[Fang flashes back.]
BBug
Spare my life and I'll teach you to play the lute.
[Back in the present.]
Then he taught me to play the lute. Huh, I guess it wasn't that long.
[After "Donkey Chum" became a hit Dave writes another song entitled "Pancake Party".]
Here's a little song I like to call "Pancake Party". [Singing]]
If I had a pancake....
I'd eat it with butter!
I'd eat it with syrup!
I'd eat it with a fork!
Oh Pan...
[Switching music to rock] Let me show you how it's done! [Singing]
Pancakes, Pancakes,
Eat 'em with a fork!
Pancakes, pancakes!
Don't be a dork!
Pancakes, pancakes!
Pancakes, pancakes! [screams]
I did you have magic powers.
I am… [he torn off the music producer to be normal clothes] The Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy! [laughing]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.