Chris and Dan in “The High School Reunion”

[singing] Hail hail the mighty owls... standing loyal and true. Rah rah. Whoo whoo whoo! [takes out the old jersey out of his box] My old jersey! [puts on jersey]

[entering] Chris, good, you're home. Take this. I need your fingerprints on it. [puts the bag in bowling ball]

What? Why?

That's between me and the Department of Agriculture. [Chris ignores Dan and walks off] Is that your high school jersey?

Yeah, I think it shrunk while it was in storage.

What is this junk? A year book, stack of report cards? Are you planning a bonfire?

Just taking a little stroll down memory lane. Tonight's the class reunion.

And you intend to go?

Of course. There's going to be a big party in the school gymnasium. Elise is eager to meet my old pals.

[takes the "Go Owls" flag away from him] Chris, reunions are for ex-prom queens and aging muscle-heads who want to wallow in their past glories. Not for normal people like us who hated high school.

That might've been your experience Dan, but I loved it. I was involved in so many activities... I earned dozens of participation ribbons.

Delude yourself if you must, but I endured the same four years you did, and I wouldn't be caught dead commemorating them at some vapid social. [notices that he was not invited] Hey, wait a minute. I was in your high school class. No one sent me an invitation.

Really? Hmm.

I guess they didn't want me there. B-but why?

I'm sure it was an oversight.

Oh, don't sugar coat it, Martha Sunshine! I know when I've been snubbed! [yelling] HIGH SCHOOL REUNION!!!!