[Dan walks to the store and gets items he needs as he gets ready to call Chris]
Hello?
Greetings, drone. Any special requests for Thursday? I'm at the store.
Thursday, wh- oh Dan... please don't tell me you forgot.
How could I forget? I love our little Thanksgiving tradition. I'm buying the ingredients to my secret recipe'd, world famous deviled eggs, so there you go. I have forgotten nothing. Thanksgiving is saved. Hurrah and 3 cheers for me!
Dan...
At least one chance-
Dan!
STOP YELLING AT ME, I'M AT THE STORE! [everyone glares at him] Now look, you've caused a scene. Everything's fine, folks. I've gotten him under control. Go back to consuming. People, huh? No manners these days.
You know we're going to Elise's parents' for Thanksgiving, right?
WHAT?!
I can't believe you forgot. I mean I've told you, I don't know, umpteen billion times.
No one has ever told anyone the same thing that many times! Your lies unspool as they spill from your lips, you giant toolbox!
Dan, calm down!
CALM DOWN?! When stupid Elise and her dumb donkey parents are continuing their quest to reprogram you?
Don't be absurd.
What about friendship? What about tradition? What about your bacon wrapped turducken? I may not care for the duck, but the bacon, tur- and -ken are mellifluously delectable.
I'll make it next year, but Dan-
Next year? NEXT YEAR?! [kicks the cart] I'll show you next year. You'd better tell your old lady's parents to make sure they have good insurance!
Insurance?
BECAUSE I'M GONNA BURN THEIR HOUSE TO THE GROUND!!! [gets kicked out of the store]
Dan? Hey, Dan!
FAMILY THANKSGIVIIIIIIIIIING!!!
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