Barber and Dan in “The Barber”

I'm not gonna hurt you, Dan... yet!

Oddly, that's less reassuring than I'd like it to be.

I am here to declare a barber vendetta on you.

Barber vendetta?

Did you think barbers just cut hair? [pulls out razor]

Of course not. They also sing in quartets. Oh!

since the dawn of Western civilization, barber surgeons were responsible for surgery, [stabs poster with a scissor] dentistry [stabs couch with a razor] and bloodletting. Bloodletting, Dan. You have insulted me, Dan! I am here to declare the Hallowed Society [pulls of Dan's beanie] of Barber Surgeons is going to end your life! Soon! [puts on beanie] And you won't see it coming! Sleep well. [leaves]