Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Danny

Our buddy Frankie... he never met a piece of paper he didn't like.

Hawkes

I guess they didn't teach organization at Quantico, huh?

Mac

This isn't just sloppiness. It's obsession.

Jo

Were there ever any physical attacks?

Danny

No. Everything but. I mean, he made death threats. He also broke into their house and left a cake frosted with dog feces on the kitchen counter.

Jo

Delightful.

Why do they always run?

Danny

I don't know. Must be brain damage.

Lindsay

You mean to tell me that while I've been trying to get a lead out of an empty cardboard box, you've been here doing magic tricks?

Danny

Uh, it creates a diversion, helps me think.

Lindsay

That's very impressive.

Danny

Thank you.

Lindsay

I think you should stick to your day job, though.

Boom!

Hawkes

These what I think they are?

Danny

Yeah, serial killer trading cards. Who needs Mickey Mantle when you have Ted Bundy, right?

I opened this store for fans of the macabre.

Danny

Right. Selling locks of Charlie Manson's hair.

Hawkes

Your Web site says that you offer soil samples from Lambert Jones' backyard, where he supposedly buried his victims.

As a matter of fact, we do, and for an extra five bucks, I will gift wrap the Lambert dirt for you.

Hawkes

Lambert dirt.

Need I remind you, it is not illegal to sell dirt.

Danny

No, it's just immoral and kind of despicable, not for nothing.

Danny

Climbed a lot of trees back in Montana, didn't you?

Lindsay

Damn straight, city boy.

Danny

Was that before or after you started cow tipping?

Lindsay

(Fakes a laughter) Wow!

Danny

What?

Lindsay

(Pretending) Is that a snake?

Danny

(Jumping out of his skin) Where? What?

Jo

Ok, I hope y'all are taking notes. First of all I could not stop thinking about these two pieces of violet flavored gum, because I couldn't wrap my head about how the wound up in Jimmy Fillbrook's mouth, and on Greg Barbera's satchel. So I went back to the schedule from the courier service that Greg worked for, and it turns out that his first pick up of the day was across from a little dinner in Chelsea, right around the corner from the Cragston Hotel.

Mac

Who did he pick up from?

Jo

Jimmy Fillbrook. And guess what the dinner has in a little dish next to the cash register.

Lindsay

Violet gum.

Jo

Bingo. But there was something else that kept bugging me. Because Greg Barbera was a bike messenger, right? So why did he run from Scott Perfitto? Where on earth was his bike? So I went back and looked at the NYPD footage one more time. Look what I spotted at about 100 yards ahead of both of them.

Danny

Guy on a bike.

Jo

Yes, but not just any bike. It matches the exact description supplied to us by the courier service that Greg worked for. And look whats hanging from the handle bars.

A chain saw. Could've been used to cut down the fallen tree outside of Scott Perfitto's apartment, right?

Mac

Greg probably locked up his bike.

Lindsay

Greg's bike was stolen so he had to run from Perfitto on foot.

Hawkes

Which caused him to fall down the steps.

Jo

and due to Greg's untimely death he wasn't able to deliver this.

Mac

Doug Kramer. That's the name of the building and safety official who was supposed to accept the bribe from Jimmy Fillbrook.

Jo

For fifteen grand.

But since he didn't get it, he ruled to condemn the Cragston Hotel at the B&S meeting.

Jo

Yes, which we all know drove our supper, Toby Delafont, to our murderous rage.

Danny

He attacked Fillbrook in the park, leaving him for dead.

Lindsay

Right. And then Fillbrook wondered further into the woods, right into the path of Nicholas Bristow's arrow.

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard but it actually makes sense.

Mac

One crime leads to another.

Hawkes

And another.

Danny

And another.

Lindsay

And another.

Jo

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is known as the Ripple Effect.

Danny

I'm coming to the rescue, 'cause it looks like you have wrinkles all over your forehead...

Lindsay

It's not a wrinkle. It's a frown.

Adam

We could build a profile, you know... a woman, size seven shoe, six one.

Danny

We're off to a really bad start there, buddy. Not one of our suspects fits that profile. None are that tall.

(Looking at each other) High heels.

Danny

Hey, get your head in the game, kid. You're better than that.

Adam

Are you kidding me? Who just got nailed in the corner over there, all right? Get the puck along the boards!

Danny

Just keep your skates up against the post. You learn that in peewee league.

Hey, hey, hey, shut up, the two of you. We are not losing this game. We got two minutes left. Danny, I need you strong on the forecheck. Adam, nothing gets past you. Focus, baby. Focus. Let's go, boys.

Jo

I think your cake's done.

Danny

(As Hawkes examines a glove) It's looking like you got a few good prints there.

Hawkes

Let's hope it's the icing on the case.

Danny

(Scoffs) Really?

Lindsay

Oh, that's pathetic.

Jo

Eh, I kind of liked it.