Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Sheldon Hawkes

You got to be hurting a little bit today, huh, man?

Adam Ross

I got a, uh, you know, three-day suspension. It's pretty painful.

Danny Messer

Ah, come on. Hacking after Mac told you not to? You're lucky he didn't suspend you from the flagpole out front.

Sheldon Hawkes

Yeah, you go home, lick your wounds, uh, catch up on your soaps. You'll be fine.

Lindsay Monroe

Yeah.

Danny Messer

Never mind.

Lindsay Monroe

You want to take the front door or you want the bedroom?

Sheldon Hawkes

I'll leave the bedroom to you two.

Lindsay Monroe

Thanks. Bed or floor?

Danny Messer

I'll take the floor.

[to Manny Ravarra] We're here about a homicide that was committed last night in Jamaica Estates. Couple was bludgeoned to :death.

Danny Messer

And we don't make you for it. In fact, we have an eyewitness who says it wasn't you.

All right.

Danny Messer

But your cell mate, he says you did it. Said you were bragging about it.

But Owen Hicks is looking to get out from under a robbery charge that will most likely send him upstate for the next 15 years, so...

Danny Messer

Yeah, not the most reliable source. We figured we'd come here, lay our cards on the table, give you an opportunity to respond.

Let me see if I got this right. My crackhead cell mate gives me up for a murder that an eyewitness says was committed by someone else, and you two drop by here to give me the opportunity to say that I didn't do nothing? I got that right?

What about it, Manny?

What about it? Sometimes crackheads actually tell the truth.

Danny Messer

So what are you saying?

I'm saying your eyewitness is wrong. I killed that couple.

(sitting in the sidewalk) I can just picture Manny Ravarra, sitting the cafeteria with a stupid grin on his face, eating a bologna sandwich, gloating to the other inmates how two mope detectives are knee-deep in crap for absolutely no reason.

Danny Messer

(coming out of the sewer) Actually, I only see one mope detective down here. You want to join me?

I don't do sewers. It's like he said... he's doing life, he's got nothing to lose, so why not jerk us around?

Sheldon Hawkes

Looks like Manny Ravarra's playing you.

Danny Messer

Why would he want to go down for a murder he didn't commit?

Danny Messer

Ravarra come through the 116 last night around 2:00 A.M. Same time and precinct as Billy Travers.

Jo Danville

So Flack's going at Billy in the interrogation room and Manny's sitting in the bullpen being processed? Rookie cops.

Adam Ross

(to Owen Hicks; impersonating a polygraph examiner)I understand there's a question to the veracity of certain statements that you may or may not have made and or heard during your confinement in the fine institution known as Rikers Island. Is that correct?

I have no idea what the hell you just said, man.

Adam Ross

Are you playing games with me, son?

No, I'm not playing games...!

Adam Ross

Because any heretofore games will not be tolerated. Okay?

Jo Danville

How long do you give him?

Danny Messer

Well, if Adam remembers to plug the damn thing in, I don't think he gets past the first question.

Jo Danville

First question? No way it gets that far.

Adam Ross

(to Owen Hicks as he gets him ready for the polygraph) This simply measures your blood pressure while the test is being administered. The information then relays to the pen thingy which will go haywire if you're full of... if you're being untruthful. And, based on the amount of sweat that's accumulated on your forehead... gross... is more than likely.

Danny Messer

He was even dating the prom queen, Sarah Dufresne.

Apparently dating her wasn't enough (reads from Benson's file) "I told him I wanted to wait, that if he loved me, he would respect that I wanted to wait. He grabbed my arms and pinned me down." One minute he's Harvard bound, next he's Rikers bound.

Danny Messer

Six years on the job, Jimmy... how you end up working for this bastard Carson?

Oh, come on, man, he doubled my salary. Wasn't like I had a lot of options. Hey, you know, if you're interested, now that you're a family man, maybe I could line something up for you.

Danny Messer

I don't plan on retiring any time soon.

Well, neither was I, if you remember.

Adam Ross

What would you do?

Danny Messer

What would I do what?

Adam Ross

You know, if you found millions of dollars of gems in the street?

Danny Messer

Give 'em back.

Adam Ross

Oh, come on, guy. You wouldn't keep some?

Danny Messer

Why, would you?

Adam Ross

No, no, no, I... I'd give 'em back. Mostly... I mean... maybe keep one or two.

Danny Messer

Know what happens to people that take things that don't belong to them, right?

Adam Ross

No.

Danny Messer

Other people are getting hurt. Doc! Come here, we got an ethical debate going on, and Adam is failing miserably. What do you do if you come across a fortune of precious gems that don't belong to you?

Sheldon Hawkes

I'd give them to the guy with the knife to my throat.

Lindsay Monroe

Ted and Paul Kendricks. They're brothers. They were arrested a few years ago for trying to rob an ATM cash warehouse and use a plane as a getaway car. They served two years.

Danny Messer

Well, their lawyer was Roland Carson.

Jo Danville

What a coincidence.

Would you believe that this isn't what it looks like?

Danny Messer

Not in the mood for your jokes, buddy. Put it down.

What are you gonna do, huh? Gonna shoot me in the back, Danny?

Danny Messer

And not think twice about it, buddy, if it comes to it.

You ever think about that night, man, huh? You ever think about what it would've been like if you would've patted those guys down instead of me? If you would've been the guy with the flashlight in the backseat? And don't you even pretend that you would've seen that gun any better than me.

Danny Messer

Doesn't matter, Jimmy. Now, put the damn gun down or I will shoot you.

Danny Messer

Rooftop is clean. If there was ever trace up here, Mother Nature did not want us to find it.

Lindsay Monroe

What about the stairwell?

Danny Messer

It's my next stop.

Lindsay Monroe

You want help?

Danny Messer

Uh, well, with 738 stairs, I think I'm good.