Don Flack quotes from CSI: NY

Adam

This guy was kinky with his food.

Stella

Care to elaborate on that?

Adam

I think he was sploshing. A sploshing party is an event where a group of people get together and they experience food in a, uh, sensual way. They, um, caress their bodies with foods of different textures and temperatures, and it, uh... it arouses and stimulates and... they say that it excites them and-and... well, I just, again, it's what I've… I've heard, I...

There are specific locations for these...?

Stella

Sploshing parties.

Adam

Oh, you can go to a Web site and get an invitation.

Hey-o, Terrence! This has been fun and all, but you should probably get some new friends. Your boys are like walking parole violations. What's the matter, did I hurt your feelings? Did you get sensitive all of a sudd...? (Seeing Mac in the apartment)

Terrence

I ain't trying to have no cop convention up in here. But you two need some quality time, so I'm gonna give you all five minutes.

Mac

Hey, let's be clear. Part of me wants to take this badge off and settle this another way.

Get out of my face.

Mac

(runs him against the wall) Hey! We're in the middle of a murder investigation and you go AWOL?!?

I can handle myself.

Mac

Oh, yeah? Is that what you're doing here in this apartment? (pulls out Flack's gun) Is that why I had to get this from Terrence? Is that why I had to have Stella triangulate your phone and Danny check the ERs to see if you turned up dead? You can keep telling people that you're fine, but that won't work.

Mac

Sam Harding was an inventor. This room, maybe this entire penthouse was his greatest creation.

Okay. Knowing that, how do we find Richard Lawson?

Mac

We play Sam Harding's game.

Stella

Things just got a lot more difficult.

Mac

(ominous) And a lot more dangerous.

I have to ask. Two years nurturing someone back to health, getting to know them, watching them grow. How do you rationalize killing them?

They're a cancer. Living in the street like dogs. Begging for change.

Grace Chandler

Leaving their feces and stench in boxes in doorways.

How long do you think they would have lasted before you or some other cop found them dead? We took them off the street. We gave them two more good years.

Grace Chandler

Two years living in a Park Avenue apartment building. Wearing the best designer clothes and expensive jewelry. We gave them things, things they never could have imagined. Having a life they were never supposed to live. We gave them two more years. Two years they would have never had.

And the payment for that was their lives?

I'm thinking our vic's wallet and jewelry were on someone's Christmas list.

Mac

Along with his life.

Well, let's hope that Eli can spin a better story than Sam. 'Cause the one he's telling in there just isn't holding water.

You're so wrong. He isn't capable of murder.

Anyone's capable of murder, Miss Fallon.

Is this the part where I look at the bloody crime scene photo, break down in tears and confess to murder?

Only if you did it.

I wasn't in no alley and I didn't torch nobody, man.

Danny

Your DNA was on a cigarette butt that ignited the fire.

I ain't capable of that kind of violence.

Robbery. Burglary. Assault. You got a resume for that kind of violence.

Danny

This is a step up for you.

Danny

Last week, my dog tags were stolen, obviously. My wallet and my badge.

What? Where did this happen?

Danny

My back's been bothering me, so I go to this acupuncture joint. I come out of the treatment, go back to my locker. Everything's gone, except my clothes.

Did you report your shield stolen?

Danny

No. I mean, I don't want to make a big deal about it... yet.

It's a big deal.

Danny

I know.

Now some nut job's running around the city with your shield. Damn it!

(looking around the store) This is certainly a step up from the place my Uncle Teddie used to pawn his cufflinks when he needed a drink.

Danny

(lauhgs a bit) Yeah. Bars and pawnshops recession-proof.

Guess so.

Billy James?

I take it you guys don't want NYPD tattoed on your forearms.

That's a relief.

Danny Messer

What?

She's got a bed.

Danny Messer

What'd you think? She had a coffin? [Looking at photographs] She had a nice eye. Obviously put a lot of time into these photographs.

Oh! She obviously put a lot of time into some interesting reading habits as well. [Found several books related to vampires] The awakening, Confessions of a Vampire.

Danny Messer

Are you serious? How does one get involved in this? I mean, when do you have that moment of deciding: I wanna suck someone elses blood off?

I don't know. Whatever happened to kids playing stickball and manhunt?

Danny Messer

Yeah, Yeah. Suddenly, its... eh... being pale, and skinny, and having sharp teeth and great hair. That's the way to go.

Maybe it's me, but I don't get it. You get 80 laps jammed into that tiny car; 10 second pit stops... Where do you go to the bathroom?

Mac Taylor

You don't wanna know.

Why'd you do it?

Why do you think?

Danny

For the money.

You bet your ass money.

Danny

How much money you get?

A grand.

A grand? You did this for a grand?

Yeah. It was the easiest money I ever made.