TV show quotes
[Cow and Chicken get caught by Dad while trying to catch the Arbor Day Pig.]
We're busted.
Oh, you kids know that you can't open this piggie until Arbor Day. [Arbor Day Pig has sticker labelled "Do Not Open 'Til Arbor Day" on his butt]
Ha!
And that's three days away. [Pig blows raspberry, but then gasps]
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING! STUPID SONG IS DRIVING ME... nuts!
[with Cow and Chicken chasing him] THIS IS MADNESS!!! [screams] LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Oh crud! I must've thrown out all my ice cream at those funny-looking kids. [gives Chicken ice cubes in an ice cream cone] Here you go, duck.
Hey! This is just a cone with ice cubes in it!
And your point is? NEXT!
Do you have any gravy freezies?
NO!
Frozen pork buttocks?
NO!
A beaver-tail cone surprise?
How about a beaver in a cone? [pulls out a beaver in a cone] SURPRISE! [leaps out of his ice cream truck] AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I DON'T HAVE ANY ICE CREAM, NONE WHATSOEVER! I don't even like ice cream. OR KIDS! It says "I Scream" on my truck, not ice cream! Get it? Cause... I SCREAM! Look at me. [spins in circles] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Ooh. [chuckles] Screaming is my hobby!
[hits Red Guy with sausage] It's the padded cell for you, scream man!
How about some frozen Arbor Day piggie pops?
PIGGIE POPS?! OKAY! THAT IS IT! TIME OUT! I've put enough with psychological torture for one pig! YOU GUYS ARE CANNIBALS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE ALL OFF YOUR NUT! [runs away screaming]
What is up with that?
You know, Mama, we lose more Arbor Day piggies that way.
No actual Arbor Day piggies were hurt during the making of this film. But I was. My feelings were hurt! More than once! There was the first time in scene 40 and that once in scene 57 and... did you know that I do my own STUNTS? No stunt double for the Red Guy, oh no, no, no, no. [looks around] Feiss will not spring for that, no! I'm not good enough for a STUNT DOUBLE! [starts sobbing] OH, LIFE'S NOT FAIR! All right, you can end now. [laughs] END!
See, kids? It's like I told you. You can surgically alter a chicken into a duck, but he's still the duck. All right, kids, forget what I said at the beginning of the show. Sometimes a sack of manure can be a duck. Oh, that's not right?! I don't know! I am not a scientist! I am a pig! WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! I AM BACON, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
The producers wish to apologise for the previous Slappy the Pig insert, it was a PATHETIC AND DESPERATE ATTEMPT ON THE PART OF SLAPPY TO PROLONG HIS LIFE!
The producers wish to apologise for the previous outburst by the pantless actor who no longer works for the show. We are sorry... END!
Would you like to have your laughter back, too? [Laughs proudly crazy] END!!!
[last lines of the series]
Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! Oh, oh. Ow! Oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! Ow! Oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cow and Chicken pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
