Count Duckula quotes from Count Duckula

Count Duckula

Rory! Vampire? Igor! This isn't the Glen Sparrows Hotel. Come on, Let's get outta here to the Trailer.

Duckula

[To Nanny] Has this information penetrated what we laughingly call your BRAIN???

Nanny

It's Nanny, Master Duckular, with your hot cocoa and chocky biccies!

Duckula

Oh, good! Come in, Nanny! [Nanny crashes through the wall] Nanny, why can't you come through the door like everyone else?!

Nanny

Ooh, the door! Oh, I've forgotten all about it. Hang on! [exits through the hole]

Igor

I'm very sorry, milord.

Duckula

I might've been killed!

Igor

I know, sir.

Duckula

And I haven't paid the electricity bill from the last time you brought me back to life.

Igor

Yes, sir, I-- [Nanny knocks on the door]

Duckula

Ah! Got it right this time. Come in! [Nanny crashes through the door] Nanny, now look what you've done!

Nanny

Oh, Duckyboos! You said to comes through the door!

Duckula

I give up, I just give up.

Duckula

Oh... where am I?

You are in the secret temple of the great god Ra. You have trespassed in Upshi's sacred tomb.

Duckula

Oh... Oh no. Who are you?

I am Hoomite, high priest of the great god Ra, and this is my assistant Yubie.

Delighted, I'm sure.

Duckula

Hello.

Who might you be?

Duckula

Yes, I got that.

No, who might you be?

Duckula

I know, I know, you said that already.

So, you will not tell me?

Duckula

Well, I hardly need to, do I?

We shall see about that. Yubie, you try.

Oh very well, Master. [turns to Duckula] Listen... I am Yubie, right?

Duckula

No, wrong! I am, you ARE.

Ah! There, Master. He is Yewar.

So you are Yewar?

Duckula

I am not, I am not!

Ah, you are Nott! He is not Yewar, he is Nott!

You are, Yewar?

Duckula

I am NOT Yewar!

Oh, call me Nott, Yewar! I am not Yewar, I am not Nott, I am Yubie.

Duckula

[frustrated] Ahem... Look, let us get this sorted out, okay? I am NOT Nott, okay?.

Okay.

Duckula

I am NOT Yewar, okay?

Okay.

Duckula

But you are Hoomite, and you are Yubie, okay?

Okay.

Duckula

Whew...

But-

Duckula

Yes?

Who might you be? [Duckula breaks down into crazed sobbing]

Igor

Good morning, sir.

Duckula

And what's good about it, Igor?

Igor

Oh, it's so ghoulishly gloomy, sir. Everything's so dismally dreary. Even the manacles in the dungeon are rusting nicely, me lord.

Duckula

(notices the goblet) Ah, carrot juice! Ha-hey! Just the thing! (takes a gulp, but instantly groans in disgust) That's not carrot juice!

Igor

No, sir. It's a 1963 Yugoslavian Rh negative.

Duckula

Oh, well that's all- AAH! (leaps about, frantically gulping down water from a bucket and quacking wildly)

Igor

(chuckles) Yes, it is a little heady, but a very good year.

Seize them! Bind them, jab them, prod them, and be generally unpleasant to them! And one last thing!'

Yes?

(sweetly) Do you really like-a my boots?