Igor quotes from Count Duckula

Igor

I don't like it,Milord.

Nanny

It's Nanny, Master Duckular, with your hot cocoa and chocky biccies!

Duckula

Oh, good! Come in, Nanny! [Nanny crashes through the wall] Nanny, why can't you come through the door like everyone else?!

Nanny

Ooh, the door! Oh, I've forgotten all about it. Hang on! [exits through the hole]

Igor

I'm very sorry, milord.

Duckula

I might've been killed!

Igor

I know, sir.

Duckula

And I haven't paid the electricity bill from the last time you brought me back to life.

Igor

Yes, sir, I-- [Nanny knocks on the door]

Duckula

Ah! Got it right this time. Come in! [Nanny crashes through the door] Nanny, now look what you've done!

Nanny

Oh, Duckyboos! You said to comes through the door!

Duckula

I give up, I just give up.

Igor

Good morning, sir.

Duckula

And what's good about it, Igor?

Igor

Oh, it's so ghoulishly gloomy, sir. Everything's so dismally dreary. Even the manacles in the dungeon are rusting nicely, me lord.

Duckula

(notices the goblet) Ah, carrot juice! Ha-hey! Just the thing! (takes a gulp, but instantly groans in disgust) That's not carrot juice!

Igor

No, sir. It's a 1963 Yugoslavian Rh negative.

Duckula

Oh, well that's all- AAH! (leaps about, frantically gulping down water from a bucket and quacking wildly)

Igor

(chuckles) Yes, it is a little heady, but a very good year.

Seize them! Bind them, jab them, prod them, and be generally unpleasant to them! And one last thing!'

Yes?

(sweetly) Do you really like-a my boots?

Count Duckula

I suppose we're lucky to have found this ship so quickly.

Igor

Mm, quite so, sir, but I-, I must say I don't like the look of the crew.

Count Duckula

I don't like the smell of them either; I bet they've never heard of soap.

'Course I've heard of soap, I eats a bar a week whether I needs it or not, ha-harr!

Count Duckula

Here, Igor, I don't know how you could just lose a castle.

Igor

Me, sir? I hardly think I'm to blame. You were the one -

Count Duckula

All right, all right, I must have said it wrong. But you must have left off the safety hatch.

Igor

Me, sir? Oh no, sir, I was doing something dastardly with sulphur in the cellar. It was probably Nanny at the -

Count Duckula

Oh, yes, it's very easy to blame poor Nanny.

Igor

Actually, sir it is very easy to blame Nanny.

Count Duckula

Well, let's do that, then.

Nanny!

Nanny

[breaks out from under the deck] Ooh, I'll be glad to get back to our nice kitchen at home. How can you make a cup of tea in a silly little kitchen like that?

Count Duckula

Well, Nanny, if you hadn't lost the castle -

Nanny

Me, lost the castle?

Igor

You see, she admits it.

Igor

How a vampire duck of your breeding can believe in that Loch Ness Monster story.

Count Duckula

I'm not gonna look, I'm not gonna look.

Igor

You were anxious to visit it I believe.

Count Duckula

Yes but not DROWN in it! Igor do something!