“Early 21st Century Romanticism” quotes from Community

Abed

Mariah, my name is Abed Nadir. [indicating Troy] My associate, Troy Barnes.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Are you the guys who keep staring at me and intermittently yelling out "books"?

The very same. We're both interested in taking you to the Valentine's dance, but we are also best friends with each other.

Abed

It is of the utmost importance we protect that friendship from the stresses of courting you, so we're trying to be as direct and above-board about this as possible.

Will you go to the dance with one of us, and if so, which one?

We need to get something straight first: this is the cutest thing that's ever happened to me. [Abed and Troy high-five each other without taking their eyes off Mariah] But I don't know either one of you.

Abed

Give us a moment. [he and Troy confer in whispers] New proposal: get to know us at the dance and decide there which of us you'd like to see again.

Okay, deal.

Abed

Yesss.

[indicating what Troy is carrying] What's in the briefcase?

Oh, tacos. You want one?

No.

Great, we really wanted them.

Abed

Yeah, we're gonna eat them.

Annie

[referring to Page, Britta's supposedly lesbian friend] So, like, would you change clothes in front of her?

Britta

Annie, I know your lack of world experience creates curiosity, but questions like that can make you seem a little bit homophobic.

Annie

It's homophobic to ask questions?

Britta

If you have to ask if it's homophobic to ask questions, haven't you already answered your own question?

Annie

Have I?

Britta

Don't know. Not a homophobe.

Annie

[spots Page from a distance] Oh.

Britta

Oh, there's Page. Should I ask her 500 questions about being a lesbian? Or should I just treat her like a normal person? That's a question you can ask.

Abed

Hey, maybe if we're too loud she'll shush us.

Abed

[loudly] Books!

[to Abed] Pretend like you're asleep.