Principal Scudworth quotes from Clone High

Scudworth

D'oooh, he thinks he's the greatest thing since wheels on a bucket!

Scudworth

I first got the idea for Cloney Island after seeing the movie Jurassic Park 3. But my ill-conceived amusement park will be filled with human clones instead of zoo animals. It's as fool-proof as the amusement park in the movie itself!

Scudworth

[in anguish] "STAMOS! DAMN HIM AND HIS JET-BLACK HAIR AND AWARD-WINNING SMILE! Oh, I'm a failure! A failure! I'm so disorganized! I start to dial, but I never call anyone back! You should see my car! It's a mess. I'm a mess! I go to the submarine sandwich restaurant and I leave my submarine sandwich restaurant value card at home,every time! All I want is a free sandwich. STAMOS!"

Scudworth

Your secret army of cloned historical figures is maturing according to schedule.

I'm sorry, Dr. Scudworth, is that a scale model behind you labelled "Dr. Scudworth's Evil Plan?"

Scudworth

Say, where'd you get those fresh Pumas, Bro?

Actually, we're sponsored by Puma. These bad boys are catalogue-only.

Scudworth

If you're implying that I plan to steal the clones away from you and use them in a clone-themed amusement park, then shame on you. By the by, could I have $2,000,000...you know, for dry erase markers and such...they've got some keen new colors like...kiwi...and mango...

For giggles, I'm going to keep saying "no" until you turn the TV off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no—

Scudworth

Maybe we could have dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden. It's like eating in the private kitchen of a delightful Italian stereotype!

We were thinking somewhere more...intimate. Your house, next Friday, no dairy. Please.

Scudworth

Dammit! I haven't been to the Olive Garden in, like, forever!

Principal Scudworth

My evil surgery certainly won't be disturbing at an expensive china store.

Yoo-hoo! (Scudworth drops the tool and ends up hitting the clone, the clone screams in pain and his blood lands on lab coat. Scudworth's heart pumps and Skunky-Poo drops a dynamite)

Principal Scudworth

Ma'am, I believe this lipstick of dynamite belongs to you! (The dynamite explodes in his face, Scudworth screams in agony) That dynamite really sparked! (Skunky-Poo unzips the disguise, sprays on his face and kisses)

Try and catch me, bitch! (Runs away, all the china fall and shatter)

Principal Scudworth

Yo, the atta-boy! Bring me a hot dog with a side of ketchup! (Krabby Cakes wears a shirt, pants and ladder, holds a hot dog and dynamite on a round tray and gives Scudworth the hot dog and dynamite) This ketchup will be spice up my dog. (He tries to squeeze the dynamite, but he realizes that dynamite is disguised as "Catsup") Darn it! It's being blocked by some sort of lit fuse! (Explodes in his face, Scudworth screams in pain)

You've got crabs, ass-face! (Krabby Cakes jumps on Scudworth's palm, cuts his nose) Aha!

Ponce was like a son to me... probably because he was my foster son... my DEAD foster son. [sobs] Son, I just want you to know--

Scudworth

Oh, janitor! Some kid threw up in the hallway. Could you make with the sawdust and clean it up?

I'm... kinda delivering my son's eulogy, here.

Scudworth

Yeeeah... If you could just do it now, your son will still be dead when you get back.