[in anguish] "STAMOS! DAMN HIM AND HIS JET-BLACK HAIR AND AWARD-WINNING SMILE! Oh, I'm a failure! A failure! I'm so disorganized! I start to dial, but I never call anyone back! You should see my car! It's a mess. I'm a mess! I go to the submarine sandwich restaurant and I leave my submarine sandwich restaurant value card at home,every time! All I want is a free sandwich. STAMOS!"
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