Dawson quotes from Chicago Fire

[points to a man on the floor] Baby here cold-clocked his mom and then tripped and bumped his head.

"Baby"?

What do you think is inside?

Nothing good. My luck don't run that way.

Otis

[excitedly] Let's open it and find out. Worst case scenario it's empty.

What if it contains a decomposed head of some gangster that went missing in the 20's? Next thing you know, this bar gets wrapped in crime scene tape and we can't get back in here!

Otis

If there's a mobster's head in there, my "Mustache Pete's" is gonna be famous.

We're not calling it Mustache Pete's.

Otis

Yes we are.

It reminds me of this joke my dad once told me. Why is Chicago style pizza so thick?

Why?

Don't worry about it.

"Ladies' night specials". You're kidding me.

Otis

[looks at Herrmann] See, I told you she'd be pissed. You know why? 'Cause it's sexist.

Yeah, sexist against men.

It just feels...a little desperate.

You think that woman knew her husband was a total scumbag before or after she married him

He could've pretended to be Prince Charming for years and she wakes up too late next to a monster under a bridge.

Go home, Herrmann, you've been on your feet all day. I'll finish cleaning up.

Thanks Dawson. Maybe I'll go pour myself a nice big tall glass of antifreeze.

We got to be really careful going forward. Okay?

Oh, yeah. I'm, like, a hostile witness now? Or what's the deal?

[laughs] I'm just saying, don't tell anyone, all right, until we make the pinch, because if Arthur finds out I'm a cop, then I'm a dead cop.

I got to say, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would, but you got the job done.

[pouts] Yeah, and I caught a bullet in the process.

[deadpan] You say that like it's a bad thing. You know, since you were shot on a job, that pretty much means you get to choose your next detail.

Intelligence. I want Intelligence.

Yeah, well, we'll see what we can do about that.

[spills coffee on his pants] Great, this is great. One minute into my shift and I'm already covered in gag. It's never gonna come out. My wife is gonna freak out on me.

You're gonna have a good day today, McAuley. Think positive. Don't catastrophize everything.

[giggles] Oh my god, you're crazy!

A little.

[to Casey] Lady called us because her cat got stuck on the roof.

[looks up and sees a male police officer on the roof] Eh, funny looking cat.

He climbed up there to get the cat but it ran back inside, now he's stuck!

[looks at the police officer on the roof] This is a new one.

Get ready for the splat.

Take a look guys! We gotta rescue Reno 911! up there!

Arranging a rendezvous with one of your babes?

How many do you think I have?

It had better be one.

It is. I'll introduce you to her sometime. She's hot.

[as Dawson is kissing him] Dangerous... [looks at the open blinds]

Well, it's a dangerous job. [pulls the blinds down]

Would you mind putting some clothes on?

[scoffs] We're not ashamed of our bodies.

[walks into lounge] Oh my god. What is that smell?

Mouch

[deadpan] Impending gastric distress.

[sarcastically] Haha, very funny.

[raises eyebrows] Cruz is cooking??? Since when?

Since Mills jumped to squad and we haven't got a replacement candidate. We all drew straws.

Otis

We all lost.

Hey! This is authentic Dominican cuisine, all right? Just because you can't appreciate the aroma doesn't mean that the taste isn't gonna blow your hair back, huh? You just gotta broaden your horizons a little.

Yeah, broaden them all the way to Manny's for a Reuben sandwich.

Why would anybody target a firefighter's sister? I mean, we're the good guys.

Sometimes the world is upside down and there's no reason why.