A character in Chicago Fire
[yelling at Mills] Hey! Candidate! One hand on the beam, Candidate! I don't care if you're carrying a damn cow! Men die when they relax!
Okay, Kelly. He gets it.
Yeah, he better.
[Mills climbs down the ladder]
He’s right. One hand on the beam, no matter what.
Yeah, okay.
Hey, lieutenant, why do we have a goat on our truck?
Years ago, truck 81's first fire was at a goat farm in Little Italy.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
They used to have a goat at the station so they didn't have to mow the grass.
Huh. I thought that's what candidates are for.
All I'm just saying is, I'm more than happy to design a new seal more reflective of the truck we are. Anything besides a goat!
[to Casey] What's he on about?
He doesn't like our crest.
[to Otis] I love that goat. That goat's all about reversing the curse.
What curse?
The Cubs. A goat owner cursed 'em once, which is why they always suck. Everyone knows that.
So we have a cursed crest?
How the hell should I know? Leave it alone. The goat rocks.
[During a debriefing session]
I was wondering what the proper protocol would be for designing a new crest for the truck. It's just, sir, engine's got a camel, which I get. And squad has got a badass three-headed dog, which I get. And we have a goat, sir.
Named after Billy "Goat" Bukanski. First chief of firehouse 51 and a mentor to me.
Just forget I said anything.
That's it?
Yes sir.
Then y'all do good work out there.
[The men disperse and Boden walks away with Casey]
That true about the crest?
[Boden smirks]
Two hours left in the shift and no calls yet. That happen very often?
[Herrmann and Mouch look up at him]
[to Mouch] He did not just say that.
Accident, truck 81, squad 3.
[In the truck]
Hey Mills. Pitcher's got a no-hitter going in the eighth inning. Do you go up to him and say, "looks like you got a no-hitter going"?
No, but––
Don't do it at the damn firehouse either.
Yeah I got it. [Otis turns and glares at him]
[to Shay and Dawson] Good morning.
Uh-oh. We're either in trouble or he wants something.
Is your brother still working in vice?
Yeah.
Could you see if he can swing by here real quick?
Sure. All your hookers get locked up last night?
Yeah. My whole stable.
What we got in the treasury box?
Dick. We spent it all on the elliptical machine so Shay could keep her ass toned.
Oh, Herrmann, please. Everyone benefits from me having a toned ass.
Mills, you're in charge of a fundraiser for a new TV.
[hopefully] Instead of cooking?
In conjunction with cooking.
I believe it's called multitasking.
Turkey fire, guaranteed.
Uh, what happened?
Uncle Brad is what happened.
I know how to deep-fry a goddam turkey, Sharon. You put in too much grease.
You can't fry a beer can turkey!
Why the hell are you studying Japanese?
I..went online...once you turn fifty, your brain starts to atrophy unless you keep it in shape.
I think that train's already left the station, Mouch.
Say something in Japanese.
I just started.
[...]
I bet twenty bucks that in two weeks you won't be able to string along a sentence.
Easiest money I ever made!
A friend comes over to your house to help out with something do you repay your friend with your phenomenal arroz con pollo picante, or a six pack of his favorite beer?
Hypothetically, your friend can bring his own beer. However, he can barely say...ar-rose con po pi--...let alone cook it.
My cousin, the poster child for Better Homes and Gardens throws this really super fancy Christmas party every year. There's a string quartet, plum pudding, nutmeg sprinkled over the eggnog, so perfect you wanna vomit.
Sounds awesome.
[After internal affairs leaves the men's locker room]
So what'd you do?
Nothing. I just told her we recorded the whole thing on our thermal cameras.
Wait, thermal cameras don't record. [Casey and Herrmann glare at him] [realizes] Oh! That's good.
[points to a man on the floor] Baby here cold-clocked his mom and then tripped and bumped his head.
[Casey, Otis and Mills look down at a burly man lying on the floor]
"Baby"?
In four years, you've never spoken before, Mr. Casey. Why now? What's changed?
Well, uh, when I was seven, I, uh, I stole a baseball mitt from a sporting goods store. I got caught, and the owner wanted to call the cops, teach me a lesson. But my mom came down there and, uh, got him to agree to let me work off the cost of the mitt by sweeping his floor. And when my sister crashed the family car, my dad wanted to kick her out of the house. But my mom talked to him, worked it out where Christie could work off the repairs by cleaning dad's office. What I'm trying to say is that my mom understood punishment, but she also understood forgiveness. She did a horrible thing that she regrets terribly, and she's paid the price with fifteen years of her life. But now it's time for forgiveness, from all of us. We lost both our father and our mother that day. So, what's changed? Well, I have.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Chicago Fire pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Chicago Fire · 302 quotes
