John Bosley quotes from Charlie's Angels

Sabrina

(Speaking to Bosley about Dr. Croyden) You know. I got a couple hours before I have to go up again.

Bosley

So you are about to matriculate?

Sabrina

Oh, no. I told my mother I'd never do that but I many run around with him a little.

Kelly

Kathy became interested in the occult right after Martin was killed. I think she wanted to get into the institute so she could attempt to contact him.

Bosley

Yeah, or to fleece his Aunt.

Kris

Well listen if she was part of the scheme to fleece Clare I doubt that she agreed to be killed.

Bosley

No that is a bit drastic.

Bosley

So we’ll all need to have a cover but one of you will have to be a wanted criminal. Tough, streetwise, and capable of anything.

Sabrina

Wait a minute, why are you looking at me?

Bosley

She has a very lively imagination Charlie.

You’re not a very subtle factotum Mr Bosley.

Bosley

Factotum? Me?

Sabrina

(Grabbing her gun) Hey, this is my gun! And I've got an impatient nature too!

Bosley

Sabrina, you're not gonna shoot somebody else today!

Kris

She just thinks that being mayor is boring and she wants Uncle Paul to deputize her.

Charlie

She’s not serious

Kris

Oh yes she is.

Kelly

Hey, I think that’s a good idea Kris. You’re uncle could deputise two or three of those ladies, give them assignments by phone, let them do all the work and he just lays back and relaxes.

Bosley

That is an absolutely preposterous idea

Charlie

I agree Bosley, totally absurd.

Sabrina

It would never work.

Kris

No of course not, I don’t know any woman who would accept something like that. Do you?

Kelly

Absolutely not.

Kris

Bosley, hi. Kris. Where are you?

Bosley

Uh in my car.

Kris

I know but where?

Bosley

Oh, in the front seat.

Bosley

What you're doing doesn't make any sense.

Kris

Well that just goes to show you.

Bosley

Which is?

Kris

We're all not as predictable as you are.

Bosley

It is just that we have spent a great deal of time and money in recruiting and training you all and you would be very difficult to replace.

Jill

What he means is he can't find anyone to work as cheap as we do.

Sabrina

Now move the bottom just a little bit to the left.

Bosley

I don’t see why the office needs anything like this.

Sabrina

It gives it a little humanity. Try moving it back a hair to the right.

Bosley

You realise I had this office decorated to reassure the clients of our professionalism.

Sabrina

It could only be reassuring if the client were planning a funeral.

Bosley

Unfunny.

Bosley

Ah-ah Kelly, you know that Charlie does not like to answer personal questions.

Charlie

That’s true, however I take no offense Kelly. It’s just that thoughts of my marriage tend to remind me of the fellow who woke up one morning to find out he was dead. It ruined what otherwise could have been a beautiful day.

Sabrina

This secrecy has gone on long enough. How tall is Charlie? What colour are his eyes?

Bosley

Now, now ladies you know I can not divulge anything.

Jill

Could you at least tell us his shirt size? How else are we going to get him a present for his birthday?

Bosley

His birthday? Where were you when it was my birthday? Nobody asked about that, nobody.