Castle · Season 5
[Interrogation room]
Maggie. You know, I pegged you for a lot of things. Never a killer.
Yeah, I pegged you for a lot of things, but never a narc.
Actually, see, I’m a homicide detective. Which is why I know that you killed Jimmy the baker.
Jimmy the who?
Oh, God. Are we actually gonna play this game? It’s late, I’m tired. Officers went through your house and they found your gun.
[Returning to his home]
Sorry, Jenny. I know it wasn’t fair to you.
Just tell me the truth. Is this part of your life, this undercover part, over?
Yeah, it is now.
Good, because I need to know that you’re gonna be here. And I need to know that I can depend on you. Especially after the test result we got back from the fertility doctor.
Oh, no. Bad news?
Yeah. We took all those damn tests for nothing. [Ryan begins to look crestfallen] I’m already pregnant.
You’re pregnant. [laughs] You’re pregnant! Uh… Let’s pop some champagne.
Yeah.
No, no, we can’t pop any champagne.
No, we can’t.
Do you know why?
[simultaneously] I’m pregnant!
[simultaneously] Because you’re pregnant!
[The two kiss]
Castle, how's the knee?
It's not the knee so much as the *boredom*.
I thought you writers liked being alone.
Yeah, if I could write. But the painkillers make me a little loopy. Last night, I used the word 'speculate' three times in the same sentence.
[Ryan sees a pair of binoculars and looks through them]
Hmm. You must be bored. You've actually gone "Rear Window".
Alexis got me those as a joke to cheer me up. I have not *yet* resorted to voyeurism.
Then you are missing out.
[whistles]
What? Let me see.
[they fight over the binoculars]
No. Hey!
Give me the binoculars!
Dude, she was just about to take off her towel.
[using binoculars] Oh, the towel's off.
Yeah?
[comes up behind them] Unless the body that you're looking at is dead, I suggest you drop those binoculars.
Tommy "The Shark"'s alibi holds. He was with some associates at a nightclub that he owns.
Esposito': It doesn't mean he didn't send of one of his boys.
Look, if he killed Clara, he wouldn't have talked to me. No. Hiding the money, planning to disappear. Something else is going on here. So what've you got on the husband?
Oh, not much. He's a manager at a big name supermarket in Queens. No priors. Been married seven years. Oh! And he took a million-dollar life insurance policy out on his wife only three months ago.
Huh. That's not suspicious.
Well, maybe next time you'll think twice about being cheating cheaters.
[To Beckett] Staring at the phone won’t make it ring. I learned that in junior high.
After revealing the whole scene across the street was staged
It was all fake? Nothing was real - you let me think I was crazy, you let me think you were gonna die!
But Castle, you were so bored over the past couple of weeks, stuck at home with no case to solve, and I saw that this apartment was for rent, and I thought that...
Richard...
No ... no ... this is ... without a doubt ... the greatest birthday gift of my life!
This is not an emergency!
I caught him red-handed. Literally red-handed.
Oh, so then it's gotta be blood.
What else could it be?
Red paint, tomato juice, beets, red velvet cupcakes.
He bought a tarp and rope. He brought them into the bedroom, where I'm betting, right now, he's cutting her into portable pieces. Get a warrant. Search that place before there's no evidence left.
Esposito spoke to the girl. We know she's alive.
How do you know it's the same girl? It's possible he someone to be his alibi.
Or it's possible something else entirely is going on here. Look... I know that you're lonely and that you miss me. I miss you, too. But you don't have to keep making up things to have me come back here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think this is a ploy to get you here?
Look, I don't mean to be like...
No, I know what you mean, all right? And I know what I saw.
All right, you know what? I have to get back to the precinct.
Wow. You really don't believe me.
I'll be back later.
You know what? Don't worry about it. I'm fine.
I may have an explanation for those facial wounds. Turns out our victim worked at a retirement home called Haven House.
Vicious, bloodthirsty old folks? Is that your theory?
This home is not for people, Castle. It’s a primate sanctuary, mostly for apes and chimpanzees and monkeys who have retired from the movie business.
I always wanted a monkey when I was a kid. Big Curious George fan.
Yeah, wait till George grows up. An adult chimpanzee can reach 200 pounds, tear off a man’s face, hands and naughty bits.
Gentlemen! I hate to rain on your parade.
Do you?
No.
Castle. Castle, please. No more Wookie calls.
It’s not Wookiee. I’m not doing Wookiee. I can’t do Wookie. Alexis does a really cute Wookie.
You know, Castle, there’s a bit of poetic justice in this.
Poetic justice, how?
Well, I mean, think about it. You set a trap for Alexis and now someone or something, has set one for you.
A few months ago, I came out of hiding to find Anne. I told her I was innocent, that I didn’t kill Justine and I begged her to look into the case. And she agreed to because she believed me.
Yeah, well, I’m a little more skeptical.
I can vouch for that.
[When Alexis explains what happened to her allowance money]
Well, why didn’t you just come to me?
Because I didn’t want the speech.
Well, I don’t…What speech?
That people like us need to be careful with the kind of money we have. People might try to take advantage.
Oh, that speech. Yeah.
Looks as though you two were enjoying yourselves.
Castle...
What about pajamas? Homely flannel or skimpy sleep shorts?
Oh, my gosh, you're sounding like my dad dropping me off at summer camp.
Did they serve champagne at your summer camp?
I was being polite. Castle, do you think I want this? Do you think I asked to be here?
I think you're making the best of it.
You know I would rather be with you.
Well, then maybe I should stay. We could protect him together.
No, I am not letting you do this. I'm not letting you turn this investigation into some kind of a *twisted* competition. Look, don't make this harder than it needs to be. Please.
Okay. But only because you said please.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
