HHooker
Jeez, who died?
Your fashion sense.
HHooker
Yeah, well, take that tragic face back inside. I got guests coming over and that is gonna spoil the party.
As long as my face doesn't look like Chris Hansen, your guests will be fine.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
HHubble
You're not over the hill.
If a director can just look at you and say "no" after three seconds, it's not "no" cause you're so young and hot. It's "no" cause you're starting to look like an IHOP cashier.
Hey, seriously, dude, keep 'em comin' was not a euphemism!
What was it in my house you wanted to get rid of?
Your house? Her house?
HHubble
Our house actually.
Our house, like our house?
No, our house like our house.
But- wait. You live with your mother like a serial killer?
[after telling Talia that Hubble is dead] Talia...
Mhm.
Say it.
Nope.
Say it.
Nope!
Talia.
You have the worst luck with men!
Yep, there you go.
I've never seen anything like it!
Let it out.
It's like you're cursed or jinxed or built your house on an ancient Indian burial ground!
Okay, gotta go...
When my grandmother died, her spirit haunted our car. Suddenly, the day after the funeral, you couldn't start it if someone was sitting in the passenger seat, Grandma really liked her passenger seat.
GGirls
What did you do?
We sold the car.
GGirls
You sold your grandmother?
And bought a Ski-Doo.
[On phone] I don't understand. No, literally I don't understand. Could you put the interpreter back on? Oh, thank God, yes. As I was trying to tell the Lama while I'm very grateful he agreed to pray for Hubbell, I was actually hoping he would do it here. At the memorial on Monday. Or Tuesday. We're flexible about the day. Could you ask him again? Because I already have a monk in Ireland who said he'd pray from there. But I was really looking for someone to represent, as the kids say. What if I throw in a trip to Disneyland? Does he have a friend who's not busy chanting for the Japanese people? All right.
[To Michelle] What is it about these monks? How hard is it to get on a plane? Well, at least he said he'd pray for him.
That's nice.
He can say anything he wants. He's on another continent. How do I know he's really doing it? - Well, he is a monk.
So? So he's a monk. Their to-do list basically consists of "pray" and you know, "pray."
I take my spirituality very seriously. If I don't see it with my own eyes, I don't believe it.
RRico
[pointing at the corgie] That a service dog?
Like a Marine?
RRico
Like a seeing-Eye dog, that kind of thing?
Yeah. He is my service dog. When I get really drunk and pass out in the gutter, he is my pillow.
This your place?
RRico
20 years. Used to be a nice respectable surf bar, but with this freakin' economy, you wanna make ends meet, now you gotta serve brunch!
Bleh! I hate brunch! Pick a meal.
RRico
Nice dog.
Thanks.
RRico
What's his name?
Don't know.
RRico
Is he dead?
Don't know.
RRico
Right on.
There's no crying in baseball! Or ballet!
Everybody has your number.
Really?!
Yep.
Thornton Wilder should've mentioned the creepy side of small town life.
Who?
No one. He was in Menudo.
Who?
I'm gonna go be old now.
Okay, bye!
CCharlie
[trying to convince Melanie to leave Ballet early] Just duck out early.
DDez
Yeah, before the swan dies. [Melanie looks surprised] What? I'm not a barbarian.
GGrant
[answers the door] Hello.
Why? Why, why does anyone have to live so far away from civilization?
GGrant
Pardon me?
I mean, this private road of yours is really misleading. You go up a straight-away, you think you're almost at the house, you round a bend, more straight-away. So you go up that, you round a bend, more straight-away. And on and on. You get some kind of deal with straight-aways? You had a coupon or something?
GGrant
May I ask who you are?
Have I not introduced myself?!
GGrant
No.
You had no sign. You have no private-road sign, and my car died, and I got arrested, and I must sound like a loon. It's all a big misunderstanding- Do you have any water?
GGrant
Sure. I'm Grant.
Oh, have I still not introduced myself?
GGrant
No.
Oh, it's those straight-aways. They suck the politeness right out of your head, I'm Michelle.
You have a very large door.
GGrant
That's what all the ladies say.
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