TV QuotesDatabase
S1

Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 1

“Welcome to the Hellmouth” quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

7 quotes

“Welcome to the Hellmouth” · Season 1

In this episode: Buffy Summers (7), Xander Harris (3), Willow Rosenberg (2), Rupert Giles (2), Darla (1)

I'm Buffy. I'm new.

Xander. Is - is me. Hi.

Um, thanks.

Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school... since we... both... go there.

Great! It was nice to meet you. [walks away]

We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic.

[to Giles] To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?

The influx of the undead, the... supernatural occurrences, it's been building for years. There's a reason why you're here and a reason why it's now!

Because now is the time my mom moved here.

Something's coming, something, something, something is - is gonna happen here. Soon!

Gee, can you vague that up for me?

Well... when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty. Or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

It's not that bad.

No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.

You really haven't been dating lately.

[about the mausoleum] Well, this is nice. I-it's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows... call it home!

Who the hell are you?

You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Whew, that's a relief! I'm telling you, having a secret identity in this town is a job of work.

Buffy, we bail now, right?

TThomas

Not yet!

Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge!

[The vampires close in on Buffy. She turns to Darla.]

Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way.

That's fine with me!

Are you sure? Now, this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...

Okay, what's the sitch?

Sorry?

You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?

Yes.

'Cause it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little-little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, "Ooh"?

I was afraid of this.

Well, I wasn't. It's my first day. I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus. And I don't care.

Then why are you here?

To tell you that, I don't care, which I don't, and have now told you, so... bye.

Is he-- will he rise again?

Who?

The boy.

No. He's just dead.

Can you be sure?

[to Giles] To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, and then you have to suck their blood. It's like, a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?

You really have no idea what's going on, do you? You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning.

Why can't you people just leave me alone?

Because you are the Slayer. To each generation a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength--

The strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of the evil, blah, blah, blah. I've heard it, okay?

I really don't understand this attitude. You-You've accepted your duty. You're slain vampires before?

Yeah, and I've both been there and done that, and I'm moving on.

What do you know about this town?

It's 2 hours on the freeway from Neiman-Marcus.

Dig a bit in the history of this place, and you'll find a-a steady stream of fairly off occurrences. I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy, that things gravitate towards it that-that you might not find elsewhere.

Like vampires.

Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real.

What, you, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?

Oh, w-well, yes.

Did you get the free phone?

Um, the calendar.

Cool. Wait. Okay. First of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know. Why don't you kill them?

I'm a Watcher. I-I haven't the skill.

Oh, come on. Stake through the heart, a little sunlight, it's like falling off a log.

A slayer says, a watcher--

Watches?

Yes, no. He... he trains her. He-he-he prepares her.

Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead. Prepare me. [sigh]

Damn.

What?

Hey!

Oh, hi. Hi.

Oh, you're here with someone?

No, I'm just here. I thought Xander was going to show up.

Oh, are you guys going out?

No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.

How come?

He stole my Barbie. Oh, we were five.

Oh.

I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately.

Why not?

Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

It's not that bad.

No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.

You really haven't been dating lately.

It's probably easy for you.

Yeah, real easy.

I-I mean, you don't seem too shy.

Well, my philosophy, do you want to hear my philosophy?

Yeah, I do.

Life is short.

Life is short.

Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true. You know, why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy and if he's going to laugh at you? Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead.

Oh, that's nice.

Um, I'll be back in a minute.

Oh, that's okay. You don't have to come back.

I'll be back in a minute.

Seize the moment.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.