Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the most anticipated event in this precinct's history! The auction for-
[Gina reaches down from the podium and holds up a vinyl briefcase; the gathered detectives are amazed.]
The Suitcase of Mystery!
Exactly, Jacob. This puppy's been in the Lost & Found since 1976. No one alive today knows its contents. I'm happy to say Captain Holt has finally given me permission to auction it off!
I'll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want!
Jake, willing to sacrifice his dignity! Who can top it?
Massage! I'll give you a massage!
Charles, going in the wrong direction and getting himself disqualified. Interesting approach. Orange Jake: Goin' once! Goin' twice!
I'll show you a picture of me in high school. There is side pony.
Ooh! Rosa comin' in hot, Rosa comin' in hot!
I'll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe.
I'll go on a date with you!
SOLD! To Jake. Not to Scully. That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now.
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