TV show quotes
Look, let's crunch some numbers. How much money are we laundering?
At this time...$16,000.
How long you been doing this?
We've had some extenuating circumstances.
Yeah, apparently. All right, $16,000 laundered at 75 cents on the dollar, minus my fee, which is 17%, comes out to $9,960. Congratulations, you've just left your family a secondhand Subaru.
[to Jesse on the payphone] Clear your social calendar. We have to cook.
What? Today?
No, you'll need today at least to gather supplies. Now, we're going to need all new glassware, heating mantles, about a hundred pounds of ice. Y-you have a paper and pencil? You should be writing this down.
Yo, you wanna go shopping, go do it yourself, alright? I got plans.
Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.
Well, screw you and your book, man, alright? I'm going to a museum in Santa Fe, not like you need to know.
You're going to a museum, huh?
Yeah. Georgia O'Keeffe.
Georgia O'Keeffe?
She's a painter, duh. She does these vagina pictures. Or paintings, or just painted. I don't know.
[After cooking a batch of meth and agreeing to stop at a hotel for the night, Jesse and Walter realize the RV's ignition has stopped working]
[after turning the keys several times] Battery’s dead.
Jesse, back when I asked you to put the keys in a safe place, where did you put them?
I left them right here. In the, um… in the ignition.
Son of a bitch!
Whoa, whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn’t buzz.
The what?!
The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in to, like, let you know that the battery’s on. I know that! It didn’t buzz. Look, I didn’t turn the key or anything, alright? I’m not stupid! Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not... It’s faulty, it’s a faulty mechanism.
Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did you—Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?!
The buzzer did not buzz! And you were the one that made me move the keys in the first place, remember?!
Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say, "Jesse, don’t leave the keys in the ignition the entire two days!"
I wanted to leave them on the counter, bitch! Oh, I’m sorry, the "work station!" Jesus!
[Walter and Jesse are stranded without water in their RV in the middle of the desert]
I have this coming.
What?
I have it coming. I deserve this.
Snap out of it. All right, first off, everything you did, you did for your family. Right?
All I ever managed to do was worry and disappoint them. And lie. Oh God, the lies...I can't even...can't even keep them straight in my head anymore...
You know what? Screw this. I'm walking. You can come or not. Where's my other shoe?
Jesse. Jesse... Your body is running dangerously low on electrolytes. Sodium, potassium, calcium...and when they're gone, your brain ceases to communicate with the muscles. Your lungs stop breathing. Your heart stops pumping. You go marching out there, and within an hour, you will be dead.
You need to cut out all your loser crybaby crap right now and think of something scientific!
[laughs weakly] Something... Something scientific, right...
Like, come on! Man, you're smart! All right, you made poison out of beans, yo! Look, we've got an entire lab right here. How about you take some of these chemicals and mix up some... some rocket fuel, that way we could just send up a signal flare. Or you make some kind of robot to get us help... or a homing device... or building a battery... [Walt's eyes snap open] Or what if we just take some stuff off of the RV and build it into something completely different? You know, like a... like a dune buggy! And that way we could just dune buggy our... [Walt sits up] What? Hey... what is it? What?
Do you... do you have any money? Change, I mean, coins?
Yeah, yeah, I got a bunch of 'em!
Okay... [gets up]
Yes!
Gather them. And–and–and washers, and nuts and bolts and screws, and whatever little pieces of metal we can think of that is galvanized–it has to be galvanized–or–or solid zinc.
[heads outside] Solid zinc.
And–and–and bring me... brake pads! The front wheels should have discs. Take them off and bring them to me.
All right, all right...
[kicks a toolbox toward Jesse] Brake pads!
What are we building?
You said it yourself.
A robot?
...A battery.
And now, what shall we use to conduct this beautiful current with, hm? What one particular element comes to mind, hm? [Walter holds up a copper wire] Hmm?
Ooooh, wire.
...Copper.
Oh, I mean...
It's copper.
The upshot is that I have radiation pneumonitis.
Damn.
Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's a fairly common occurrence. Easily treated. In fact, the news is all good.
You mean, good? You mean, like, good good? You mean, like, remission good?
Remission. Not to imply I'm cured. I still have cancer, but there's been a significant reduction in the tumors.
How significant?
Eighty percent.
Dude! No way!
I'm not out of the woods yet, not by any stretch... but "options" is the word they keep bandying about.
That's awesome! Serious? That's–That's... That's great, man! My aunt, she never... I mean, y'know, at your stage I didn't even think that could happen.
Eh.
Mr. White, you kicked its ass, yo! [Walter motions for Jesse to quiet down] No! You must be so psyched!
Of course. I am.
Okay, now we... I mean, what do we... Oh! Hey, I almost forgot. [hands Walter a paper bag filled with money] So, how do you want to... y'know... proceed in light of this kickass news?
We'll take our time and stay cautious. Sell off what we have and then...well, then I guess I'm done.
Um... Well, it's kind of funny. When I got my diagnosis–cancer–I said to myself, y'know, "Why me?" And then, the other day when I got the good news, I said the same thing. [beat; all the party guests are silent with confusion] Anyway, uh, thank you for coming and... enjoy.
Wow. Inspirational.
[Hank takes a bottle of tequila away after Walter keeps pouring shots for Walter Jr.]
Hey! Bring. The bottle. Back.
Sorry, buddy. No can do.
My son! My bottle! My house!
[to other party guests] It's all right.
What are you waiting for? Bring it back!
Why don't we just call it a day? All right, pal? We good?
[Hank puts his hand on Walter's shoulder. Walter smacks it away]
The bottle. Now.
What's going on?
[Walter Jr. vomits into the pool. Skyler and Hank rush over to him. Walter sits back down and smiles to himself]
[Jane is looking at Jesse's superhero sketches]
And this is?
That's Backwardo. Oh wait, no, actually I changed it to Rewindo. Anyways, he goes backwards. He can make everything go in reverse.
Time and stuff? Time traveling?
No, he just walks backwards.
Stay out of my territory.
God. This entire process has just been so... It's always been one step forward and two steps back. We need your help.
Look, let's start with some tough love, alright? Ready for this? Here it goes: You two suck at peddling meth. Period. So, give up on trying to do it all yourselves. Hell, I'm amazed you got this far.
Look, we are not going to deal with another high-level distributor. No, thank you. We have been down that road.
What? Some tattooed speed-freak? What you two need is an honest-to-God businessman. Somebody who treats your product like the simple high-margin commodity that it is. Somebody who ships out of town, deals only in bulk. Someone who's been doing this for twenty years and never been caught.
You know someone like that?
Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy... who knows another guy. Let me make some calls, see if I can get you a meeting.
Well, what's his name?
I have no idea. He's very low profile. He's careful like that. From what I do hear about him, he sounds a little like you.
[Walter deduces that Gus Fring, the on-duty manager of Los Pollos Hermanos, is probably the distributor who wouldn't meet with him. He summons Gus to his table.]
What can I do for you?
Have a seat. Please. [Gus sits down across from Walt] I would like to know why you wouldn't meet with me yesterday.
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
I sat here yesterday waiting to meet with someone. I believe that person was you.
I think that you're confusing me for someone else.
I don't think I am.
[looks to the cashier to see if anyone is listening before turning back to Walter] Sir, if you have a complaint, I suggest you submit it through our e-mail system. I'd be happy to refer you to our website.
I was told that the man I'd be meeting with was very careful. A cautious man. I believe we are alike in that way. If you are who I think you are, you should give me another chance.
[Gus's demeanor suddenly changes: the open expression remains, but we are instantly made aware that this is a façade, and Gus's true self emerges.].
I don't think we're alike at all, Mr. White. You are not a cautious man at all. Your partner was late. And he was high.
Yes. Yes, he was.
He's high often, isn't he? [pause; Walter does not answer] You have poor judgment. I can't work with someone with poor judgment.
Are you familiar with my product?
I've been told it's excellent.
It is impeccable. It is the purest, most chemically sound product on the market, anywhere.
That is not the only factor.
You could charge twice the current rate for what I provide and your customers would pay it, hands down. Now, who I choose to do business with on my end is not your problem. You won't see him, you won't interact with him. Forget he exists.
I have to ask why. Why him?
Because he does what I say. Because I can trust him.
How much product do you have left?
38 pounds. Ready to go at a moment's notice. [Gus gets up] Will I hear from you?
I have your numbers. [softly] You can never trust a drug addict.
[Skinny Pete is describing Combo's funeral in a voicemail message to Jesse]
We missed you at the funeral today. The whole crew was representing. Even Badger came all the way from Fresno. Combo's people, his ma, grandma, cousins. Everyone was all choked up and shit, man. It was, like, emotional. And you should've seen the coffin. It was like this shiny white pearlescence. Like, I'm pretty sure I've seen the exact same paint job on a Lexus, right? So we're definitely talking high end.
[Jesse and Jane are injecting heroin]
What's it feel like?
There's a chill. Don't freak out, it passes. And then... you'll see. [kisses Jesse] I'll meet you there.
[As Walter gets up to leave Los Pollos Hermanos, having learned Gus's name, Victor suddenly steps in front of him and blocks him from leaving]
38 pounds, $1.2 million, [deliver to the] truck stop, two miles south of Exit 13 on the 25. One hour.
W-What?
One hour. You in or out?
In, in, absolutely, but I just need a little more time...
One hour. If you miss it, don't ever show your face in here again.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Breaking Bad pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
