Oh, great, of course! Here it comes! You can't keep doing this! You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!
[more calmly] No. No, BoJack, just... stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid, it's you. Alright? It's you. ... (dejectedly) Fuck, man. What else is there to say?
After I almost drowned, I decided I would never again be weaker than water. So I became a lifeguard. On my first day of training, my instructor told me that there are going to be times when you'll see someone in trouble. You're going to want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them. But you have to stop yourself. Because there are some people you can't save. Because those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.
See, Sarah Lynn? We're not doomed. In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So it doesn't matter what we did in the past or how we'll be remembered, the only thing that matters is right now, this moment. This one spectacular moment we are sharing together. Right, Sarah Lynn? [she doesn't respond] Sarah Lynn? [cut to black, stopping all music and sound] Sarah Lynn?
The funeral [for Sarah Lynn] was huge. There was so many people there. I kept thinking "I did this to her." And everyone was just standing around like "Well, this was bound to happen." But... it wasn't bound to happen.
I don't know how to be, Diane. It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself, saying that I'm going to change. I'm poison.
I come from poison. I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That's my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, and I have nobody in my life who's better off for having known me.
I guess they're not gonna put you in the Best Friends Hall of Fame, but... I don't know that I loved her. You know, I don't think I'm allowed to be in love.
And then after the show, I- I'll come out and say hello, and she'll say "BoJack? Is that you?" And when her eyes spark with recognition, [sits down with Hollyhock] I'm gonna sit down next to her, I'm gonna squeeze her hand [puts his hand on Hollyhock's], and get real close and say... "Fuck you, Mom!"
[thinking while waking up] Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse? Breakfast. [cut to BoJack taking his pills] Oh, I don't deserve breakfast. Shut up. Don't feel sorry for yourself. What does that do? Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass. [cut to BoJack sitting at the table eating cookies] These are cookies. This is not breakfast. You are eating cookies. Stop it! Stop eating cookies and go make yourself breakfast! Stop it! [BoJack takes another cookie] Don't eat one more cookie! Put that cookie down! Do not eat that cookie! [BoJack bites into the cookie] I can't believe you ate that cookie!
[thinking to himself] Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first... No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her. There's nothing you can do. "That's not true!" Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit! You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people! Of course your mother never loved you, what did you expect? That's why Sarah Lynn died! That's why Charlotte will never forgive you! What are you gonna do to Hollyhock!? What are you gonna do, asshole!? SHUT UP!!!
[thinking to himself] You screw-up. You're making your daughter hate you. Which is... good, because look what happens when people love you! Look at Penny! And Herb! And Sarah Lynn! It's because you made them love you, BoJack.
I don't want to, but every time she looks at me with those big innocent eyes, all I can think about is every shitty thing I've ever done, and I think, "I don't deserve that kind of love".
