JPJill Pill
It's a symbol for rebirth!
I'm not interested in being rebirthed, thank you. I'm still recovering from being birthed the first time.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I don't know if I should win an Oscar. I don't know if I want to.
Stop punishing yourself.
I'm not in the movie. I was in New Mexico.
None of that matters. All that matters now is the story. And we get to decide what our story is. Nobody else gets to tell you what your story is.
What's my story?
I'll tell you. This has been your dream for the last thirty years. You made it happen. An Oscar won't make you happy forever, it won't solve all your problems. You win that Oscar, the next day you go back to being you. But that night is a really good night. I think you deserve a really good night, and I know how to get you there. Do you want that?
Yes. I do.
Go in there. Introduce your movie. Tell your story.
MMarv
She kissed a girl? And she liked it? This, I gotta see.
I'm done. That's it. I'm tired of bending over backwards for you anymore.
I mean this in all seriousness. Professionally or in bed?
BoJack, you are amazing. You're bright and you're funny and you're handsome and you're talented. But if you can't see that, then you're the biggest, dumbest piece of shit in the world.
Wow, you're really in sync with this Justin guy! You should do all the things with him that I can't do like! Like eat chocolate or enjoy fireworks, or watch tennis. Why, tennis makes me so mad!! Why doesn't anyone catch the ball!?
Cuddlywhiskers, let's give ourselves one night to stick our dick in this script and go balls-deep in the universe.
CCuddlywhiskers
I'm in.
GGoober
These orcas have the floppiest dorsal fins in town! And they can't wait to jump through hoops for you and your kids! Bring your prepubescent daughters, who are just beginning to be cognizant of a woman's role in the world. They won't internalize deeply problematic notions about the commodifications of sexuality in today's society! What are you talking about? It's just whales!
Diane, you'll keep up his internet presence? I want him trending by this afternoon. But good trending, not bad trending, you understand?
Hashtag you betcha. Oh God, did I just say hashtag out loud? Hashtag, oops. Hashtag, oh no!
I'm honestly more alarmed by the "you betcha."
PC'Princess Carolyn
First things first! Don't go back in the house.
Sadly, you can call me LL Cool J because I am in the house.
It smells like a skunk skunked a skunk and then smoked a joint! What happened?
Well, first I rolled all over the couch to get the skunk stench out, but that did not work. So then I ran into every room to rub myself on all my clothes and belongings, you know, to get the Mr. Peanutbutter scent back.
And then I smoked a joint.
Diane, where the hell are you?
Ojai.
Oh, hi? You've been gone all night and all you have to say is "oh, hi?"
CCuddlywhiskers
Sometimes, you need to take responsibility for your own happiness.
You don't think that's a little selfish?
CCuddlywhiskers
I don't know what to tell you. I'm happy, for the first time in my life. And I'm not gonna feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, and even longer to see that it doesn't have to be that way.
[talks to Ana on the phone] Why do I have to go to this thing?
If we want to be a legitimate awards contender, Secretariat needs to make an appearance at a big festival.
I can't just go to Cannes?
You Cannes not. Apparently, the French people do not care for you ever since you said that thing about them in the press.
Hey, I stand by my critique of Sartre. His philosophical arguments helped many tyrannical regimes justify overt cruelty. Also, the French smell and I hate them.
And you can't go to Sundance because Robert Redford hates you.
Someone had to tell him The Horse Whisperer was offensive. Sorry, but real horses don't just do whatever someone says.
And that's why you need to go to this festival.
[sighs] If you say so.
[written words] "Kelsey, in this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make. I'm sorry I got you fired. I'm sorry I never called you after."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's BoJack Horseman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.