Mark quotes from Blue Heelers

Where is my pen, Evan?!

Mt. Thomas to the unit calling. Would you please keep the airwaves clear for less melodic communication?

Yeah, it's been a popular car over the last thirty years.

Yes, well I want world peace, Mr. Ross, but we don't always get what we want.

Actually, this time Boss...it's your fault.

Who's this?

Jonesy

Probationary Constable Idiot.

The Senior Sergeant is a bit of a straight shooter, is he?

Well, that's one way of putting it.

Have you seen my pen, Joss?

Well, what's it look like?

It's an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. It was a bloody Father's Day present!

Jonesy

You bastard.

What?

Jonesy

Where is it?

Where's what?

Jonesy

Where is it?

Mate, take it easy, mate.

Jonesy

Hand it over!

Okay, okay, just let me go.

What is going on, you two?

That was a very low act.

Yeah, but it was bloody funny.

Jonesy

Right, now you die.

Hey, it was a joke! Where's your sense of humour?

Hey, you two!

Now look here!

Tom

What the hell is going on?

Jonesy and I are just reliving our childhood, Boss.

Tom

Well, find a playground to do it. Because believe it or not, this is a police station.

She looks like a dog!

Joss!

What? Look at her. She does.

We don't need the canine comparisons, everybody has their own attributes.

Chocolate, that's caffeine too, isn't it?

That's different caffeine. That's chocolate caffeine, that's good for the soul.

You're asleep on your feet.

I was resting my eyes.

Yes, that's exactly what I tell Penny when I'm nodding off in front of the tele.

Have you thought about a massage?

Thanks Sarge, but I hardly know you.

Let me try.

Try strangling him instead.