There's no way girls are as horny as I am.
That's true. Jay fucks his pillow.
I also once fucked this really sexy bag of potting soil.
See? They can't be like Jay.
To completion.
The boy is a deviant.
I'm not allowed back in that greenhouse.
We can relieve Jessi of her horniness by touching her boobs! She'll be grateful. I know if I was walking around with a red bra on my dick, I'd want somebody to touch my dick, right?
You're a little fuckin' freak. I like hanging out with you.
Uh oh. Dickarus is flying too close to the sun.
If you need me, I'll be in the bubble bath watching Dr. Drew Pinsky. He looks like a sexy turtle.
Seriously, I was like, "why is your dad having sex with a messenger bag on?" and then I was like "oh, those are his balls." I can't get 'em out of my mind, you know? It's like, is he seeing a doctor? Because there could be something wrong. It's weird, too, because they're veiny but there's no hair. It's smooth. That's the weight, right? Pulling down the skin? I honestly wonder if he ever poops on his own balls. He's probably gotta drape 'em outside the toilet. Maybe that's how he came up with the illuminated toilet seat. I told some kid about that and he went on Shark Tank and made millions. I feel like I should tell your dad, but I'm scared he's gonna hit me in the head with that big pillowcase full of watermelons. Ah, the boy is asleep. What a kid. And what a set of nuts. Jesus Christ, what a thing to live up to.
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