Alfred Pennyworth quotes from Beware the Batman

Alfred Pennyworth

I don't know why we bother playing this game - You never lose!

Alfred Pennyworth

(controlling the batmobile from the Bat-Cave with a video-game like remote control to confront Daedalus and Junkyard Dog) And I actually thought he was going to let me REALLY drive for once.

Alfred Pennyworth

A shirt that expensive, I'm surprised the cuffs don't link themselves.

Alfred Pennyworth

The ones that can dodge bullets are always a bother.

Alfred Pennyworth

Oh, sorry, my dear. Rule of thumb. Never sneak up on an old spy while he's making a sandwich.

Alfred Pennyworth

A single twig breaks. But a bundle of twigs is strong. Bruce Wayne was not a man who accepted the help of others easily. yet he was surrounded by those who loved him. Our strength will keep the memory of his spirit alive.

Bruce Wayne

I don't like secrets, Alfred.

Alfred Pennyworth

You are the very definition of a secret, Bruce.

Alfred Pennyworth

The Batmobile is prepped and ready for you, sir.

Bruce Wayne

...Change of plans, Alfred. Tonight, you drive. (Alfred looks surprised, mostly because he has a broken leg in a cast)

Get this analyzed. Probably came off their shoes. Might give us something.

Alfred Pennyworth

From Cold War warrior to analyzer of sneaker goo. I've never been prouder.

Bruce Wayne

I need to find out who's after Burr.

Alfred Pennyworth

Perhaps you should search Dr. Burr's lab.

Bruce Wayne

Thank you, Alfred. You know I've done this before, right?

Alfred Pennyworth

And you're getting better at it every day.

Tatsu Yamashiro

Is this a good idea? Are you sure Mr. Wayne is out of town on business?

Alfred Pennyworth

Oh, Mr. Wayne is almost always out on some kind of business. Best to make the most of it.

Alfred Pennyworth

Uh, Bruce, exactly what did we purchase in there?

Bruce Wayne

Hormone-free bovine glands. I'm experimenting with my body's need for sleep. Currently it's four hours. I'd like to get it down to two. Certain glands are rich in adrenals.

Alfred Pennyworth

Very good. I look forward to blending them up for you.

Bruce Wayne

Don't say one word.

Alfred Pennyworth

What, and make you even more flustered?

Bruce Wayne

I'm not flustered. I'm not!

Alfred Pennyworth

Don't worry. I'll keep your bovine glands on ice.

Alfred Pennyworth

One of these days, your luck will run out.

Bruce Wayne

Just hope you're not there when it does.

Alfred Pennyworth

Oh, I do, every day.

Lady Shiva

Oh, the flower you picked has lovely petals, Silver Monkey. I wonder if the same can be said of her soul.

Please, Lady Shiva, I never meant to betray you. It was Silver Monkey who...

Lady Shiva

Shh, shh. Quiet now, my lotus blossom. (Lady Shiva recites an incantation and activates the sword)

What're you doing? No, wait! (The sword drains her soul, leaving her a colorless, skin-covered skeleton)

Lady Shiva

Don't worry, she's not dead. Not yet, anyway. As for you, Silver Monkey, you won't be joining your flower in the sword. My plans for you are far for interesting, and... painful. (Two ninjas carry Silver Monkey away) I'm actually quite grateful to Silver Monkey. Yes, he betrayed me, but he also delivered two of my most troublesome adversaries. This is a most gracious windfall for me, and for the Sword.

... You forgot one thing.

Lady Shiva

Did I? And what is that?

The rocket.

Lady Shiva

What rocket? (a rocket bursts through the window, nearly hitting Lady Shiva, and blowing off the roof. Alfred is shown holding a smoking rocket launcher.)

Alfred Pennyworth

... That rocket. (Batman breaks through his bonds, then frees Katana)

Tatsu Yamashiro

... Glove saws?

Acid capsules... but good idea.