Tom McNair quotes from Being Human

Tom

What are you doing, hanging around with a load of vampires?

Because there's nothing noble about being on the side that loses.

Tom

I bet you support Manchester United as well, don't you?

You know, they're an incredibly skillful team...

Hal

Why are you doing this?

Tom

'Cos you're my best mate.

Just treat me like an equal. Treat me like a bloke.

Tom

But you're a lady. And my dad taught me how to treat ladies. Always be polite and courteous, if a lady came in the room, stood up and take off any hats, and if it was a vampire, you staked 'em.

Tom

What's that you're doing?

Hal

I'm disinfecting the keyboard with pure alcohol and a cotton ball.

Tom

I'd never think of doing that. I'm never gonna win this competition, am I?

Hal

This isn't part of the competition. Doesn't everyone do this?

Tom

Larry's gonna stay here a while to train me.

Hal

Great. The more the merrier -

Tom

[interrupting] You're not the boss of me here, Hal. I can do what I like.

Hal

Yes, I know. I-I said it was great.

Hal

He's been filling your head with utter nonsense! Tom, these attitudes he's encouraging-they're shallow! They're aggressive-

Tom

Alright, alright! Maybe he's not a very nice guy! Maybe that's the truth! But you know what? I don't care. 'Cause nice guys finish last, Hal. And I'm tired of finishing last. 'Cause when you're there, and you get to the finishing line, you find that the pie's already gone, 'cause some bugger like you has already ate it. [beat] The Success Pie. [beat] Which is where they keep it. At the finishing line on the top of...Success Mountain- I don't really know how it works.

Hal

You don't have to stoop to his level.

Tom

Well, maybe I do, Hal. 'Cause I'm sure of one thing-that McNair would've wanted more for me than this. And I'm letting him down. Every day I'm letting him down. And maybe this is a way I can make him proud of me.

Tom

She makes me feel things.

What things?

Tom

Feelings.

She made you feel feelings?

Tom

Yeah.

What a bitch. You should stake her, anyway.

Natasha

Tom? There's some...there's something I need to tell you.

Tom

What's wrong? Have I done something? [Natasha begins lifting her skirt to show Tom her wound.] What, here? Now? Before dinner? [He begins to take off his trousers.]