“Funny scenes”
In this episode: Beetlejuice (28), Lydia Deetz (22), Claire Brewster (1), Jacques LaLean (1)
[Lydia receives a phone call from the Neither World.]
This is the Neither World Operator. I have an emergency call from a Mr. Beetlejuice. Will you accept the charge?
Yes, Operator. I'll accept the charge.
[She screams as she receives an electrical shock.]
Now that that's out of the way, will you also pay for the call?
YES!!
[When Lydia is forced to join the Happy Face Girls]
(miserably) Tell me the truth, Beetlejuice. How do I look?
You look pretty as a picture, neat as a pin, cute as a button, soooo there! (Bursts out laughing.)
(annoyed) That's right, go ahead and laugh.
Ok. (Falls to the floor in a laughing fit.)
Junior! When are you gonna get a job?
I have a job, Pops. I'm a waiter... I wait around for people to gimme their money!
[When Lydia tries to stop Beetlejuice hurting a monster, who initially kidnapped Lydia until she made friends with it.]
Don't worry, Babes! I'll save you from that overgrown zoo exhibit!
Beetlejuice!
Don't try to talk, Lyds. Save your strength!
Thing Thong is my friend.
Oh, no, she's delerious.
Beetlejuice, I'm perfectly fine! And he's definitely my friend!
Friend?! That ugly thing?!
He's not ugly, he's beautiful!
I don't get it, Lyds. You see something beautiful?
Well... I think you're beautiful.
(Disgusted) YUCK! EURGH! YUCK! (Big eyes) D'you really think so?
Uh-huh.
YUCK! EURGH!
Locked deep in Goody's self conscious is this need to correct, to adjust, to regulate.
Er, babes, you're psychoanalysing the antagonist again.
[When Lydia decides it's safer for Beetlejuice to watch the stage show from the Neither World after she accidently sends him there.]
Sorry, Beetlejuice.
(Overhearing) Beetlejuice?!
That's my name! Go ahead! Wear it out! Wear it out!
That is the most disgusting word I've ever heard! Beetlejuice?!
Now say it one more time, ya stuck up little ham!
Eurgh, only Lydia could come up with something as totally gross as... as...
SAY IT!!
... Beetlejuice...
(emerging into the real world) It's show time!
[When Uncle Clyde is doing ventriloquism.]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(to Lydia) This guy oughta throw his voice... out!
(Uses his magic on the dummy and his voice comes out of it.)
(with Beetlejuice's voice) Wanna know why the chicken crossed the road? COZ HE WAS PINNED TO THE PUNK ROCKER'S EAR! THAT'S WHY!
[When Lydia's family are dancing to music.]
They look like they're having fun, but it's just your magic.
That's how much you know, babes. I stopped using my magic twenty seconds ago.
Your relatives sure are a bunch of wakkos!
I'd like to meet some of your wakko relatives! Your parents have got to be totally freaky and gross!
I wish! My Mom and Dad are so dull their pictures are in the Neitherworld dictionary... next to the word 'boring'!
[When Lydia, Bertha, Prudence and Beetlejuice- as Betty Juice are preparing for their rock band.]
(to Prudence) First, I'll tease your hair.
Let me tease it, Lyds. Neeah, Neeah, Neeah, Neeah, Neeah! You call yourself hair! You look more like a red hat!
[When Beetlejuice pops out of Lydia's desk drawer as a jack-in-the box.]
Pop goes the beetle! (Laughs.)
(Yawns) Really, Beetlejuice. This Scary Fools Day stuff is so childish... good thing I'm still a child.
[When Lydia dresses as a Sandworm in attempt to scare Beetlejuice.]
Nice try, Lyds! I'll give you an Eeeeee, for 'effort'!
Humph! I have not yet begun to fright!
You could let me move back into that filthy dump you live in.
But ya gotta promise to stop being a good neighbour.
Neighbours! I'm home!
Oui, oui. Stop trying to be something you are not. Just be your old tummy-turning self.
[When Merlin challenges Beetlejuice to a jousting tournament.]
A joust? A joust? Surely you jest. It would be an unjust gesture for a jester to joust. A jester just jests. Get the gist?
Only just...
[When Beetlejuice is running for Mayor.]
And unlike my opponent who will lie and make promises he won't keep, I'll tell you right upfront that I won't keep any of my promises!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beetlejuice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
