[When Lydia has to go on vacation with her parents]
(hugs him) Oh, Beetlejuice! If we can't be together this summer, I'll scream!
BeetlejuiceScream anyway, babes. I like having that effect on people!
Played by Stephen Ouimette
Beetlejuice · 176 quotes
Most-quoted character in Beetlejuice: in 68 of its 176 quotes
Most scenes with: Lydia Deetz (20)
Scenes with Beetlejuice 27
Beetlejuice[When Beetlejuice pranked Lydia's parents after he promised he wouldn't anymore]
BeetlejuiceAh, what's so important about keeping a... uh... what'd you call it again?
(furious) A PROMISE! And it's important to me! Beetlejuice, I want you to say you're sorry.
BeetlejuiceYou're sorry.
Beetlejuice! Just say it!
BeetlejuiceIt.
Beetlejuice(to the audience) Rules, there ought to be a law against 'em.
GTGoody Two Shoes
And another thing, Mr. Beetlejuice... NO TALKING TO CAMERA!
[When Goody Two Shoes has made the Neitherworld a sickly sweet place.]
It's like we're trapped in some... nightmare!!
(She, Beetlejuice, Jacques and Ginger scream in horror)
BeetlejuiceWAIT A MINUTE! I forget, what're we screaming for again?
(Everyone looks down at their horrible cutesy clothes.)
BeetlejuiceOh... yeah. YAAARRGGGHHHH!
[When Beetlejuice temporarily lived with the Deetzs' disguised as a dog.]
Thanks for being Mom's best friends for a while.
BeetlejuiceHey, she's the only one that's ever spent all night looking for me... who wasn't a police officer!
TTruAnt Officer
Your licence to drive people crazy is hereby suspended.
BeetlejuiceOn what grounds?
TTruAnt Officer
On the grounds that you NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL!!!!!!
BeetlejuiceOh. School grounds.
(laughing) Oh, Beetlejuice. You always know how to crack me up!
BeetlejuiceYeah, I always bring down the house.
[When Beetlejuice and Lydia disguise themselves as witches]
How do I look?
BeetlejuiceFabulously freaky, I must say! And how about moi?
(laughing) Gorgeously ghastly!
[When Lydia is forced to join the Happy Face Girls]
(miserably) Tell me the truth, Beetlejuice. How do I look?
BeetlejuiceYou look pretty as a picture, neat as a pin, cute as a button, soooo there! (Bursts out laughing.)
(annoyed) That's right, go ahead and laugh.
BeetlejuiceOk. (Falls to the floor in a laughing fit.)
BSBeetlejuice's father
Junior! When are you gonna get a job?
BeetlejuiceI have a job, Pops. I'm a waiter... I wait around for people to gimme their money!
[When Lydia tries to stop Beetlejuice hurting a monster, who initially kidnapped Lydia until she made friends with it.]
BeetlejuiceDon't worry, Babes! I'll save you from that overgrown zoo exhibit!
Beetlejuice!
BeetlejuiceDon't try to talk, Lyds. Save your strength!
Thing Thong is my friend.
BeetlejuiceOh, no, she's delerious.
Beetlejuice, I'm perfectly fine! And he's definitely my friend!
BeetlejuiceFriend?! That ugly thing?!
He's not ugly, he's beautiful!
BeetlejuiceI don't get it, Lyds. You see something beautiful?
Well... I think you're beautiful.
Beetlejuice(Disgusted) YUCK! EURGH! YUCK! (Big eyes) D'you really think so?
Uh-huh.
BeetlejuiceYUCK! EURGH!
Locked deep in Goody's self conscious is this need to correct, to adjust, to regulate.
BeetlejuiceEr, babes, you're psychoanalysing the antagonist again.
[When Lydia decides it's safer for Beetlejuice to watch the stage show from the Neither World after she accidently sends him there.]
Sorry, Beetlejuice.
(Overhearing) Beetlejuice?!
BeetlejuiceThat's my name! Go ahead! Wear it out! Wear it out!
That is the most disgusting word I've ever heard! Beetlejuice?!
BeetlejuiceNow say it one more time, ya stuck up little ham!
Eurgh, only Lydia could come up with something as totally gross as... as...
BeetlejuiceSAY IT!!
... Beetlejuice...
Beetlejuice(emerging into the real world) It's show time!
[When Uncle Clyde is doing ventriloquism.]
CUncle Clyde
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Beetlejuice(to Lydia) This guy oughta throw his voice... out!
(Uses his magic on the dummy and his voice comes out of it.)
DDummy
(with Beetlejuice's voice) Wanna know why the chicken crossed the road? COZ HE WAS PINNED TO THE PUNK ROCKER'S EAR! THAT'S WHY!
[When Lydia's family are dancing to music.]
They look like they're having fun, but it's just your magic.
BeetlejuiceThat's how much you know, babes. I stopped using my magic twenty seconds ago.
More Beetlejuice characters
All Beetlejuice quotes →These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beetlejuice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.