[the video starts with various shots of the groin of different men]
How come they're showing all these guys' crotches?
Uh, I think this is like a masturbation experiment.
Yeah, it's about time, you know? Because I've always been saying that we need to have more funds for masturbation research.
Uh, yeah really. The Chinese are killing us.
[a helmet is put on a man, and a scientist sets some controls]
Masturbation frequency dialed in.
[the man starts to see erotic women in the helmet's visor] Yeah, you know, it's about time they spend my tax dollars on something I can use, know what I'm saying? My masturbation helmet doesn't have naked chicks in it!
Uh, you have a masturbation helmet?
I mean, it's a football helmet. Safety first.
[the helmet is taken off]
"You have now masturbated. Congratulations."
"You may go, but leave the helmet."
[the helmet is put on another man]
Whoa! He has to use the same helmet as that other guy?
Yeah. The doctor's like, "No no, no one's used this before. It's brand new."
"Those are special gases we use to enhance the masturbation.
[a man sees a woman in the helmet, and gives her a rose and a ring]
Uh, so that's this guy's fantasy?
Yeah, what kind of sick bastard is fantasizing about this, on MY tax dollars?!
Yeah. I think it's part of the stimulus package?
I wonder if like, when you're done, you can use that helmet to watch like, Meet the Fockers or something. That would be cool.
CH − Previous episode Belly, "Feed the Tree CH + Next episode Satisfaction
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
