[the video starts with various shots of the groin of different men]
How come they're showing all these guys' crotches?
Uh, I think this is like a masturbation experiment.
Yeah, it's about time, you know? Because I've always been saying that we need to have more funds for masturbation research.
Uh, yeah really. The Chinese are killing us.
[a helmet is put on a man, and a scientist sets some controls]
Masturbation frequency dialed in.
[the man starts to see erotic women in the helmet's visor] Yeah, you know, it's about time they spend my tax dollars on something I can use, know what I'm saying? My masturbation helmet doesn't have naked chicks in it!
Uh, you have a masturbation helmet?
I mean, it's a football helmet. Safety first.
Uh, okay Beavis.
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