Batman quotes

Gordon

Switchboard, Commissioner Gordon here. Plug me in at once into the Hotline Batphone circuit.

Alfred

I regret to say, sir, Batman and Robin are not at present available.

Gordon

What? Surely, you, you must be jesting.

Alfred

Alas, sir, I am not. Batman is enjoying one of his infrequent vacations.

Gordon

Ohh! Catastrophic! Unprecedented! Batman and Robin not available! You know what this means, don't you?

O'Hara

If you're thinking what I'm afraid you're thinking.

Gordon

Precisely, Chief O'Hara. The moment we've dreaded for years has arrived. This time, we're going to have to solve a case ourselves.

Batman

Who attacked you?

I've covered for the fiend long enough. It was my criminal twin brother--Harry

Robin

Holy fratricide! Any idea where he hangs out?

As a matter of fact, yes. His lair is an abandoned music roll factory. 20 B Front Street. Zip code, 9999979.

Robin

Holy Metronome! What a fate--punched into player-piano rolls!

Batman

True, Robin, scarcely an end I'd rather anticipate! Life--a cupful of surprises to the last drop!

Robin

Self-control is sure tough sometimes, Batman!

Batman

All virtues are, old chum. Indeed, that's why they're virtues.

Penguin

[to his election crew] Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people!

Penguin

That Batman won't garner enough votes to become elected dogcatcher!

Robin

[to Batman, after falling in, but surviving, the sulphuric acid deathtrap] Good thing we just got these new acid-proof suits, Batman!

Batman

[to an offer from the Democratic National Committee] But I thought you already had a candidate for 1968.

Robin

Gosh Batman, dig those flavors; Lemon-Lime, Orange, Raspberry, Pineapple...

Pick your choice, Boy Wonder!

[recurring line] Wild!

Batman

Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin. We can live with those. However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else.

Batman

We have tickets for tonight's finals in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy contest. I know Robin is a little young for this sort of thing, but...

Robin

I'm not gonna be young all my life, Batman, and besides beauty contests are practically an American institution.

Batman

You see, gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable.

It's a cool pad, Joker.

Joker

Huh, all you've seen of this cool pad, Cornelia, is that mirror. Vanity is a waste of time. I never look at myself.

Well I'm younger, Joker, and a girl; and it is a cool pad.

Joker

Well, it will do for the purpose.

Your daily workout, Batman?

Batman

Yes, crimefighters have to stay in shape, but you know that.

Well, my job's a little easier. Sometimes, a fast gun has the edge on a fast batrope. I'm not invading your territory, I'm just tracking down a clue incognito.

Batman

Welcome, and good luck. If you need help, you can always locate us through Commissioner Gordon's office.

Robin

The Batphone number's is unlisted.

Smart thinking. Don't slip.

Robin

And if you want to pollute any more water, you'll find plenty where you're going -- up the river!!