Great Scott, Alfred! Have you forgotten? Batman told you to switch cigarette holders with the Penguin! You're meant to palm off the trick one with the tiny super-powered transmitter inside! Quick, before it's too late! Create that diversion!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Batman and Robin jump into the Penguin Protection Agency, Batman growling]
Well, the costumed crooks! The dressed-up desperadoes!
Your super-brain power has driven us MAD, Penguin!
Something SNAPPED!
We don't care if we go up the river for a hundred years, we're getting you first!!
Quick, my finks! Self-defense! The dynamic duo has flipped their wings!
Back from the grave, you tricksters, eh?!
Back to send you on a honeymoon cruise, Penguin...up the river to the pen!
"Gone straight", huh?!
We'll straighten YOU out!!
Have you seen any unusual looking people around here?
LLibrarian
Unusual? In what way, unusual?
Their garb. For instance, a man wearing a bright green suit with big black question marks on it.
LLibrarian
Let me think a moment. No, I can't say that I have offhand, but then I see so many people in the course of a day.
Why did you steal that book on the lost treasure of the Incas?
For two people about to become human candles, you ask a lot of questions!
I'm always interested in the way of the criminal mind.
MMoth
Oh, Batman, honey, Moth has learned her lesson, really she has. Crime doesn't pay!
Unfortunately you've learned your lesson too late, Moth. A moth who flies around candles is liable to get burned.
Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas. Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn.
Now whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I for one will think of the Incas.
[Batman and Robin are on a golf course in the Batmobile.]
Let's get going and make an emergency bat-turn!
Not this time, old chum. Have to think of the golfers. The retro-rockets would burn up the course for a hundred yards.
[working on a jigsaw puzzle] It's so much harder with the pieces upside down.
Of course. Think of what excellent training it is for your visual memory.
Gosh yes, I guess that's true.
H1Henchman #1
Hey boss, hey boss, boss, boss, boss, look, look, look, they're up in the chimney!
I know that you fool!
H1Henchman #1
Well how'd they get up there?
[Sarcastically] They took the elevator, what do you think!
How far did you say that room was underground?
About 50 feet. Enough to give us good momentum.
Oh boy, I'll say. Can I go first? I want to see their faces.
[Holding Robin back] Dynamic seniority.
[to Nefertiti] Nefertiti, you abandoned wench. How many times must I tell you?! Queens consume nectar and ambrosia, not hot dogs!
NNefertiti
So I get hungry. Living on nothing but figs and dates and pomegranate. You wanna bite?
Aah! Unclean. I must proclaim my reincarnation to the faithful. Give me the telephone.
In the name of mercy, think back to the days when you were a distinguished professor at Yale University. Give yourself up; I vow that you'll receive the finest medical attention.
Chief Torturer, what's the pebble count on Batman?
CTChief Torturer
297, Oh Great Pharaoh!
Speed it up!
Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin. None of them is infallible. It is a lesson which must be faced.
[after seeing Commissioner Gordon apparently shot to death on TV] Holy homicide! Tell me I'm having a nightmare!
Steady, Dick. It happened all right.
Commissioner Gordon - killed!
This is one time we DON'T wait for the Batphone!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.