Batman: The Brave and the Bold · Season 1
I thought you said help was on the way?
It is. We just need to hold off Bug-Eyed Bandit a little longer.
Well, I hope you called the most intelligent, quick-witted hero you could find.
Sorry I'm late, old chums.
We're doomed.
Darling, I don't have to answer to you. I'm Batman.
Did he just call me "darling"?
What are you waiting for, an invitation? The Riddler's escaped and we're going to find him.
This time that freak's looking at 20 years behind bars.
I have a much worse fate in mind.
Life in solitary?
Try no life at all.
Umm, you lost me.
Why am I not surprised? We're going to extinguish Riddler and do you know why? Because I hate him, hate him, hate him! Uhh, by that I mean he's a menace that must be terminated once and for all.
You're lucky I keep Star City so clean, Bats. Otherwise I wouldn't have time to pick up your slack as an intergalactic cop.
Yes, I remember when I was only responsible for a single city instead of a country, planet, solar system, and overall existence of all known life.
You can be gentle.
Have to be. Kittens are not just cute. But also delicate and defenseless.
Okay, Proto, you're back on the mission. But only if you promise to treat every citizen as if they were a kitten. Delicate, cute, and defenseless.
Thanks for the assist, O'Brian. We can't let these hoodlums disrupt Election Day.
So that's why there are all of those flags everywhere. I just figured today was the Fourth of July or something.
It's January.
I know. That's why it seemed so weird to me.
They were freedom fighters! And you can be, too.
But we would be facing impossible odds.
Did that stop Abraham Lincoln when he was outnumbered by the Redcoats on the D-Day? No. And when John Paul Jones and Ringo ran out of tea in Boston, did that stop them from throwing their party? Of course not. Yes, my friends. I, like George Jefferson before me, cannot tell a lie. Help me, and together we shall let freedom ring.
Kalibak. Darkseid's demented progeny. I don't know who smells worse: you or the dogs.
The only stench you'll be smelling is your own, as you cook over the firepits of Apokolips.
But what if I want to be a scientist?
Crime fighting is a science.
What about a race car driver?
The Batmobile is the fastest car on the planet.
Astronaut?
The galaxy is just another neighborhood to patrol for a crime fighter.
Step aside! I'm about to blow out an old flame.
Sorry, Frost, but I make it my business to protect innocent lives.
Innocent?! You call the man who broke up with me via text message innocent?!
Incredible.
Really?
Quick and painless. It was the humane thing to do.
I could've handled that indignity if he didn't make me pay for all of our dates!
What is wrong with you, Coach?
Hey! How did I become the bad guy here?
This is only the beginning, candlestick!
Good job, Firestorm, but remember: archenemies can be a deadly business.
Great. Now she's your ex and your archenemy.
(scoffs) Like there's a difference?
Now this is our training room. I'm reminded of the time when... Big Blue himself challenged me to an arm-wrestling competition here. Of course, my compatriots warned me that this would surely be a losing battle, but I brought something more than brute force to the table. I brought physics. Well, the day approached, and--
By Neptune's trident, you do not know how to tell a story!
Sorry. I sometimes tend to... prattle on. Cookie, anyone?
Boom Tubes. Dimensional portals used by the forces of Apokolips.
Then adventure calls.
Let's get down there so you punks can see a real hero in action.
The Greeks must be stopped!
Got to text my publicist. Skeets! How many p's in "impending"?
One, sir.
Is this suit too short for world-saving?
Umm, I wonder if it's short enough?
Batman. I know all about you. I haven't become the most feared being in the universe by underestimating my enemies... but by obliterating them.
Scooby-Doo, Batman, and Weird Al. It's the holy trinity of pop culture!
Joker's trapdoor slid me right into the theater's old elevator shaft. Luckily, there was all this cash at the bottom to break my fall.
So the only question now is, what to do with it? We can't return it to Bulldog Benson.
Like, we could split it up.
Or, I could use it to finance my life-long dream. To turn the old music hall into the Polka and Novelty Song Hall of Fame.
Or we could, like, split it up.
My good friend, millionaire Bruce Wayne, is a big polka fan. I'm reasonably sure he'd match your contribution, Al.
That's wonderful, Batman. Done.
Or, like, we could still split it up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman: The Brave and the Bold pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
