Batman: The Animated Series Season 2 quotes

Baby-Doll

[after her TV brother is rendered unconscious by her bodyguard] Sorry I had to play roughs, Tippy. I didn't mean to.

Robin

Wow, lady. You're good.

It's a living.

Baby-Doll

Silly Mr. Batman can't catch me.

Batman

Don't run away. I know you're scared, confused - I can help you.

Baby-Doll

Liar, liar, cape on fire.

Baby-Doll

Game's over, Mr. Batman. [laughs] I WIN! [Batman fires his grappling gun, knocking the doll-gun down a slide] No fair. [runs to retrieve it, and stumbles into a room full of fun-house mirrors. Picks up the gun, wandering through the various distorted reflections, until she comes to one that shows her as an adult] Look. That's me in there. The real me. There I am. But it's not really real, is it? Just... made up and pretend, like my family and my life and everything else! [turns to face Batman, who stands behind her] WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME MAKE-BELIEVE?! [fires at mirrors, and cries after breaking the mirror with her adult reflection. Batman approaches her] I didn't mean to.

Robin

And here all I thought you dusted was furniture.

A Louis Quinze; what a pity.

[after being drugged with a truth serum] You'll get nothing but gibberish out of me, madam. I come from haunts of cootenfern and knicker sudden Sally. Uh... dee-dum dee-dum dee-dum dee-dum, and bicker down the valley.

And people wonder why no one takes Britain seriously anymore.

Well, well. Jonah Hex, his own bad self. Been here five minutes and you ain't killed nobody nor set nothin' on fire. Slippin', ain't you?

I'm still a little bushed.

Fact is, you look a little past it, Hex. Not tired, just all used up.

Well, when I get pushed, I can still shoot a fly out from between its wings. Provided the light's right, of course... and it's a big plump fly.

I ain't got nothin' on you, Hex... yet. Just remember, them wanted posters say "dead or alive". You might try "alive" this time.

First time for everything.

It would appear we have ourselves a government spy. A rather disreputable-looking one at that. Well, Mr. Spy, I'd say your plan has failed, and the railroad is doomed.

I ain't no spy. I'm Jonah Hex, and I don't give a tinker's cuss about no railroad. I've come to get you, Arkady Duvall, on account of what you done to that girl back east.

[chuckles] You mean to say, you've tracked me across twelve states because of that?

Well, there's also the matter of a 200 dollar reward. That part don't hurt my feelings none.

You're either a liar or a fool.

I've been known to be foolish, but ain't nobody calls me a liar and goes to bed happy.

Now let's you and me dance.

You cannot defeat me. I am a Heidelberg fencing champion.

My heart's all a-flutter.

Five thousand in gold, take it. Leave me be.

It ain't about money, boy. It's about justice. And I aim to serve you some.

Let me live, please.

I will. Only because it's too much trouble to haul your stinkin' carcass back east.

Batman

You left Duvall to his fate a century ago. Why come back for him now?

Did you really think, detective, that in my six hundred years of life, I would have sired only one offspring? Even before the Phoenix debacle, I had come to realize that Arkady was too unbalanced and cruel to wisely rule my empire.

Batman

But you couldn't forget about him.

What father can ever forget his son? Come now, detective, I've still a few good years left. We will cross swords another day. But for now, let me take my boy home.

Riddler

[in Bruce's memory] Those are things of the past, Batman. Ancient history that's gone now. I'm a new man. But you probably won't figure that out before it's too late. [laughs]

Bruce

He did it.

Dick

Who?

Bruce

The Riddler. Remember what he said: "Things of the past." "Ancient history that's gone now." Look.

Dick

Gee, I don't know. His riddles aren't usually that subtle. Besides, he's got a multimillion dollar deal with that toy company. Why would he throw it away over some stupid riddle crime?

Bruce

Because that's the way his warped mind works. He's obsessed.

Riddler

He's right, you know.

Who?

Riddler

Batman. He is going to catch me, sooner or later.

Gee, boss, you're scaring me. You're talking kinda crazy.

Riddler

DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT! I fooled the police, the doctors, the Parole Board - all of them! There's only one person who's ever been able to challenge me: BATMAN! He's the only one worthy of the game!

But you said sooner or later he's gonna catch you. What are you gonna do?

Riddler

I'm never going back to Arkham! So I guess there's only one thing to do!

Riddler

Hello, Batman. This is it: the end of the game. I'm a little sad actually. You were a worthy opponent. But then, I told you I'd make a killing at the Toy Fair!

Riddler

[after Batman reveals he survived his trap] There's no way you could have escaped from that explosion! How did you get out?!

Batman

That's my little riddle.

Riddler

Please, you must tell me! [pauses] All right, you win. You'll tell me what I want to know, and I'll tell you what you want to know. Okay?

Batman

[smiles and folds his arms] You mean where you've hidden everything you've stolen?

Riddler

Certainly. I'll even tell you how I committed all those robberies. [holds out his hand] Deal?

Batman

No. [Batman takes out one of Riddler's two-way radios] Did you get that?

[from the radio] We got it.

This ought to be enough to prove a parole violation. You're going away for good this time. All right, get him out of here.

[about the radio] My compliments. This is a great little idea.

Riddler

[stops] Wait a minute! Aren't you gonna tell how you did it?! That's not fair!