Batman: The Animated Series · Season 1, Episode 56
“Harley and Ivy” · Season 1, Episode 56
In this episode: Harley Quinn (6), Poison Ivy (5), Joker (2)
NO, we didn't get the diamond! The Dork Knight showed up before we even got to the museum! I had a great shot at him, too. Except... my dear little Harley Quinn handed me the wrong gun!
But puddin', it was kinda funny watching you shoot at him with the bang flag! [Rocco and Henshaw can't help laughing then stifle it as the Joker glares at them]
[turning back to Harley] Funny? You presume to tell me what I should think is funny?
[Poison Ivy trips the alarm, spoiling and hers and Harley Quinn's separate robberies] Nice going, butterfingers. Why not turn on the Bat-Signal while you're at it?
I wasn't TRYING to get caught!
Could've fooled me. Hey, aren't you that plant lady Poison Oakie?
Ivy! Poison IVY, not Oakie!
Sorry! Harley Quinn, please to meet ya!
[Poison Ivy is about to give an injection to Harley Quinn]
I hate shots! I hate shots!
Now, now. You're not immune to poison like I am, and you won't last ten minutes here in Toxic Acres without my antidote. [gives the injection]
Oooh! Whew, you'd think after livin' with Mr. J, I'd be used to a little pain.
Why do you put up with that clown?
Don't get me wrong. My puddin's a little rough sometimes, but he loves me, really.
[sarcastically] Sure he does. You're just one big, forgiving doormat, aren't you?
I am NOT a doormat! ...Am I?
If you had a middle name, it would be Welcome. But cheer up, kid. You just need some lessons in good old female self-esteem. In other words, let's play with the boys on our terms.
That should keep you big strong men busy while we weak little girls loot your trophy room.
Gee, Ives, you got style.
[sighs] No offense, Ives, but I'm not very hungry. Somehow I don't feel like my old perky self. Something's missing.
[slams her form on Harley's plate] Will you stop?! I can't believe you're still mooning over that psychotic creep!
Well, maybe I'd feel better if I knew he missed me, too.
HARLEY!!! This place is going to blinking blue blazes! Anybody seen my socks?! HARLEY!!! [the hyenas snarl at Joker] OH!! They snapped at me! What's going on, Rock? This place is a mess, no one's fed the hyenas and I can't find my socks! Where's Harley?!
Y-y-ya canned her, boss. Remember?
So? She's always come back before.
Gee... I guess ya ain't seen the papers then.
Papers?! What are you babbling about?! [snatches the newspaper from Rocko and reads an article of Harley's partnership with Poison Ivy] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
[to Poison Ivy] I remember when I would go driving like this with Mr. J.
[imitating Harley Quinn] "Mr. J, Mr. J." Oh, change the record, Harl. You wanna be some wacko's victim the rest of your life?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
