Toph quotes from Avatar: The Last Airbender

[Aang has just entered the ring] Do people really want to see two little girls fighting out here?

Somebody's a little light on his feet. What's your fighting name, the Fancy Dancer?

Gooood morning earth-bending student!

There it is!

That's what it will sound like when one of you spots it. (Waves hand repeatedly up and down in front of her face, reminding everybody that she's blind)

Yesterday my mouth tasted like mud. Now it tastes like sand. I never thought I would miss the taste of mud so much.

It won't work. You country-bumpkins will stand out a mile. [Eats food with her hands]

I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se. And I can't even see!

Okay, you're good, I admit it. (bends the earth underneath Azula so that it encases her is a conical shape) But you really ought to consider telling the truth anyway.

I am not Toph! I am Melon Lord! (Toph laughs maniacally)

People see me and think I'm weak. They want to take care of me, but I can take care of myself, by myself.

Iroh

You sound like my nephew, always thinking you need to do things on your own, without anyone's support. There is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. Not that I love you, I just met you.

[laughs] So where is your nephew?

Iroh

I've been tracking him, actually.

Is he lost?

Iroh

[looks away; slightly sad] Yes, a little bit. [cuts to shot of the rocky ledge where the two sit, the mountain region in the background] His life has recently changed and he's going through very difficult times. He's trying to figure out who he is and he went away.

So now you're following him.

Iroh

I know he doesn't want me around him right now, but if he needs me, I'll be there.

Your nephew is very lucky, even if he doesn't know it. [gets up to leave] Thank you.

Iroh

My pleasure. Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life's true delights.

[happily] No, thank you for what you said. It helped me.

Iroh

I'm glad. [Toph rises to leave, but turns around briefly]

Oh, and about your nephew... Maybe you should tell him that you need him, too.

Aang

You tell me where he is, now!

[sternly, to his son] What did you do?!

I-It wasn't me!

You said to put a muzzle on him!

Aang

[enraged] You muzzled Appa?!

I'm sorry! I didn't know it belonged to the Avatar!

Aang

[shouts with the voices of past Avatars] TELL ME WHERE APPA IS!

I-I traded him, to some merchants! He's... probably in Ba Sing Se by now. They were gonna sell him there. [Aang's glowing eyes narrow] Please, we'll escort you out of the desert! We'll help however we can!

Sokka

[to the sandbenders] Just get out of here! RUN!

Well, no offense to you simple country folk, but a real society crowd would spot you from a mile away. You've got no manners.

Katara

Excuse me? I've got no manners? You're not exactly lady fancy fingers.

[burps] I learned proper society behavior and chose to leave it. You never learned anything. And frankly, it's a little too late.

Sokka

Ah-Ha, but you learned it. You could teach us.

Aang

Yeah, I'm mastering every element. How hard could manners be? [grabs a nearby curtain and drapes it around himself like a robe, and begins talking in a very sophisticated manner] Good evening, Mr. Sokka Watertribe. Ms. Katara Watertribe. Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty, your Momo-ness.

Sokka

[in a fancy accent] Avatar Aang how you do go on!

Katara might be able to pull it off, but you two would be lucky to pass as busboys.

Sokka

But I feel so fancy!

Sokka

Why won't you let us talk to the King?! We have information that could defeat the Fire Nation!

Long Feng

The Earth King has no time to get involved in political squabbles and the day-to-day minutia of military activities.

Aang

This could be the most important thing he's ever heard!

Long Feng

What's most important to His Royal majesty is maintaining the cultural heritage of Ba Sing Se. All his duties relate to issuing decrees on such matters. It's my job to oversee the rest of the city's resources... including the military.

Katara

So the King is just a figurehead.

He's your puppet!

Long Feng

Oh, no, no! His majesty is an icon, a god to his people. He can't sully his hands with the hourly changes of an endless war.

Sokka

But we found out about a solar eclipse that will leave the Fire Nation defenseless! You could lead an invasion-

Long Feng

[stands up] Enough. I don't want to hear your ridiculous plan. It is the strict policy of Ba Sing Se, that the war not be mentioned inside these walls. [As he speaks, the Dai Li take Jet to a secret facility] Constant news of an escalating war will throw the citizens of Ba Sing Se into a state of panic.

Jet

[as the Dai Li strapped him into a chair] You have to believe me! They're Firebenders! They won't stop until they win the war!

Dai Li Agent

[to Jet] Calm down. You're safe now. [a light begins rotating in front of Jet at eye level]

Long Feng

Our economy would be ruined. Our peaceful way of life, our traditions, would disappear.

Dai Li Agent

[to Jet] There's no war in Ba Sing Se.

Jet

What are you talking about?! Where do you think all the refugees come from? You can't hide it! [The Dai Li gag him as the light continues to rotate]

Long Feng

In silencing talk of conflict, Ba Sing Se remains a peaceful, orderly utopia... the last one on Earth.

Dai Li Agent

[to Jet, muffled] There is no war within the walls. Here, we are safe. Here, we are free.

Katara

You can't keep the truth from all these people. They have to know!

Aang

I'll tell them! I'll make sure everyone knows

Long Feng

Until now, you've been treated as our honored guest. But from now on, you will be watched by Dai Li agents. If you mention the war to anyone, you will be expelled from the city. I understand you've been looking for your bison? It would be quite a shame if you were unable to complete your quest. [Aang glares at him] Now, Joo Dee will show you home.

Come with me, please.

Katara

What happened to Joo Dee?

I'm Joo Dee. I'll be your host as long as you're in our wonderful city.

It's another 1 of her tricks!

(All I need is 1 thing; myself!) There's a giant hole in a box! How is that a trick?!

[from behind them] It's not! It's the real deal! [She earthbends the two men together, throws them in the cage, and metalbends the cage shut with her hands. She climbs on top of the box] I am the greatest earthbender in the world! Don't you two dunderheads ever forget it! [She leaps off the box and onto the path to Ba Sing Se. She uses earth surfing to traverse faster]

[inside the box] I'm going to be stuck in here forever with you, aren't I?

...I have to go the bathroom. [Xin Fu slams his head against the box]

Aang

I'm not gonna make it... I failed.

Aang

Roku?

Roku

You haven't failed, Aang.

Aang

But everyone thinks I'm dead again... they think I've abandoned them. And I'm losing this war...I'm letting the whole world down.

Roku

If anyone is to blame for the state of the world, it is me. I should have seen this war coming, and prevented it. You inherited my problems...and my mistakes. But I believe you are destined to redeem me, and save the world.

Aang

I don't know...

Yue

You already saved the world. And you'll save the world again. But you can't give up.

Aang

You're right, I won't give up.

Katara

You're okay!

Aang

I have so much to do.

Katara

I know, but you'll have our help.

[jokingly] You didn't think you could get out of training just by coming to the Fire Nation did you?

Aang

What about the invasion?

Sokka

We'll join up with my dad and the invasion force on the day of the eclipse.

Hey! What's... [Toph grabs the broken shard of Aang's glider that washed up on shore] Oh, it's your glider.

Aang

That's okay. If someone saw it, it would give away my identity. It's better for now that no one knows I'm alive.