[First lines of the reboot series, the Jurassic Park jeep pulls up, and Alan takes his hat off and pulls off his sunglasses and sees something]
ESDr. Ellie Sattler
[holding an animated cel of the Animaniacs] Alan, this species of cartoon has been extinct since 1998. I mean these haven't been seen on TV since the golden era of animation! [Alan turns her head with his hand] What? [shocked and pulls off his sunglasses to stare in wonder what Alan is looking at]
[From afar, the camera sees what appears to be a shadow of a brontosaurus, but it then morphs into three separate shadows. The Warner siblings prance towards them, gleaming in the sun]
WSThe Warner Siblings
♪ La! ♪
[Alan and Ellie get out to investigate]
AGDr. Alan Grant
It's the Warner Brothers!
Dot[from far away] And the Warner Sister!
SSSteven Spielberg
[parodying the role of Richard Attenborough's John Hammond, he laughs to himself at their reactions] That's - Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
IMDr. Ian Malcolm
[seated in the Jeep behind them] He-He did it. That, that, that, that crazy son-of-a-gun actually did it.
AAlan
[holds up Wakko] Clean, vectored outlines. [holds up Yakko] Widescreen format.
EEllie
[holding up Dot] These don't look like reruns.
[Dot grabs Ellie's nose and trumpet horns come out her ears; the Warners scamper away]
SSteven
Well, they're not. [Dot carries him over to Alan and Ellie] I reanimated them.
HEHulu Executive
[to himself] We are gonna make a fortune with this show.
[Dot holds up a cream pie and the Warner Brothers run away]
SSteven
Oh, to the max. [Alan is immediately hit with Dot's cream pie] Of course, then there's Pinky and The Brain.
EEllie
Pinky and The Brain? You said you're bringing back Pinky and The Brain?
AAlan
[grabs Steven by the shoulder] Say it again.
SSteven
[smiles] We're bringing back Pinky and The Brain.
[At the sound of this, Alan hunches over, dizzy]
EEllie
Put your head between your knees.
[Alan collapses anyway]
WSThe Warner Siblings
[bounce away into the sunlight] Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!
EEllie
Where are they going?
SSteven
Home. Welcome to Animaniacs!
EEllie
[smacks Alan's face several times] Wake up!
[The Warners arrived at the film lot]
Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines. They gotta be funny, they gotta be irreverent, and most of all, they got to be carefully crafted.
But you just wasted yours on. [American accent; imitating Yakko] "Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines."
And you just wasted yours on. [Liverpool accent; imitating Wakko] "But you just wasted yours on...'Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines.'"
Dot
To be-
[covering Dot's mouth] Wait, don't! Make sure it's good first.
Yeah, it's all on you, Dot.
[Dot thinks for a quick moment, then she took a deep breath as if she was saying something]
[quickly interrupts her again by covering her mouth] Maybe something reminiscent of the 1st season?
But, modern to show them that we're not your dad's Animaniacs.
But, not so modern that you'll alienate your dads because they're a key part of our demographic! [Dot took a deep breath as if she was trying to say something, but she, once again, is interrupted] Don't overthink it.
Dot
[annoyed, bangs her brothers with a huge mallet] 22 years later and I'm still a knockout!
[Last lines]
Hello, I'm Yakko Warner. All joking aside, reboots are symptomatic of a fundamental lack of originality in Hollywood. A creativity crisis fueled by terrified executives clinging to the past like rats to the debris of a sinking ship.
[The camera pans to show the Warners wearing Hulu-themed outfits]
Dot
Yeah! Have you know shame?!
[The check from Hulu slides onto screen]
OVOffscreen voice
Here's your check for the Animaniacs reboot, you sellouts!
[Yakko grins and takes the check. Cue loads of money suddenly falling and spelling the word "Hulu"]
Yeah, but when we sell out, we KNOW we're selling out, so it's cool.
[First lines]
Finally! Our Giuseppe Arcimboldo tribute sculpture is complete!
Dot
And it only took us three months!
Who's Giuseppe Arcimboldo again?
I'm glad you asked, Wakko. [begins to sing] In 16th Century Italy... [the doorbell rings] Eh, guess the song will have to wait. [opens the door, and sees an unusual man chuckling, causing him to scream by surprise]
DDwayne
Howdy, I'm your new neighbor. [one of the sound stages is moved and replaced with a barn] I'm Dwayne Lapistol. Just came by to introduce myself an' show ya my buns. [his bum flexes]
DDwayne
Not those buns, these buns! [brings out cute bunny rabbits]
WDWakko and Dot
[smiling] Aw!
Dot
Gentlemen, it's time to go to...WAR!!!
[holds up a sandwich] LUNCH!!! [beat] Oops, sorry. War. It's time to go to war! [eats a sandwich]
Dot
[with an extreme close-up] Let's do this!
[Imagines an anime style]
Yakko Warner! The Yak-attack!
Dot
Dot Warner! And don't call me "Dottie"!
Wakko Warner! I've got an appetite for destruction!
[Last lines]
[about the Dingos] Whoa. I thought they were just gonna eat all the bunnies.
Dot
Nope, the only thing that's biting here is the satire.
DDwayne
[tied in a sack in the back of a truck with his remaining "buns"] You can't do this to me! I'm a responsible bun owner! I'll prove it to the world! We all have the right to bear buns! [one last bum flex]
Not here. This is a kid's show. [pats the truck]
[The trucks drive away, carrying Dwayne and the bunnies with them]
Dot
After this, no more hillbilly allegors.
Oh, I get it! This entire episode has been a metaphor for shoes!
[sarcastically] Yeah, Wakko, because America has too much high-capacity shoe violence.
Well, what is it then? Eggs? Motorcycles? A variety of salad dressings? What?!
Dot
We'll tell you later when you're a little older.
[The Warners are trying to decide in tormenting today's episode with random combinations of ideas from Wakko's hat]
So, it's agreed. In today's episode of Animaniacs, the Warners will torment a... [selects an idea] narcoleptic...
Dot
[also selects one] Dairy cow who's also a...
[selects one, using his tongue] Vampire? [he and Dot both sigh]
Hey, this is... [sighs] Who am I kidding? Face it, guys. We're out of ideas.
Dot
It does feel like we've been doing a lot of the heavy lifting in this reboot.
Yeah. Didn't this show used to have more characters?
You know, you're right. Whatever happened to Rita and Runt, Minerva Mink, the Hip Hippos, Steven Seagull, Chicken Boo, Buttons, Walter Wolf...
[backing away] Wait, wait, Dot, you don't have to turn anything cute.
Dot
[closer to Yakko] Yes! Yes I will!
NO! NO! I'M THE ONE WHO YAKS!!! Uhhh...I'VE GOT THE RAKEST CHARM ABOUT ME!!!
Dot
Don't fight it! [using her cute eye beams on Yakko, who turns cute; squeals, turns to Wakko]
[shrugs] I'll try anything once. [turns to cute]
Animaniacs (2020) · 66 quotes
