Yakko Warner quotes from Animaniacs (2020)

Yakko

Quantum mechanics, quinoa wraps, Queen Bey. We miss so much! [passes out, but perks up] But now, I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!! [spreads his arms, white doves fly away behind him] About the last 22 years.

Yakko

[flabbergasted] Is he trying to...WIN Hades?

Yakko

[outraged] Hey! I am not an ignorant plebeian! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Yakko

[angrily] Hey! Zack Snyder! It's a seven minute segment. Move it along! [then smiles]

Yakko

[after the animator erases his body, leaving only his mouth] Give me a body before you get us sued! [the animator erases his mouth and redraws him in his original design] Ah. [the animator draws a mirror in his hand; looks at his reflection and screams in horror, dropping the mirror] I thought we were passed all this!

Yakko

[talking in Ralph's voice] Duh, poor Ralph. He never stood a chance with this voice. [laughs] Change me back into a Warner. [the animator changes his voice; in Dot's voice] I meant a Warner brother. [the animator changes his voice again; in Wakko's voice] I meant...Actually, wait. I've always wanted to try this. [speaking in a Ringo impression] People used to say there were better drummers than me, even in The Beatles. People can be real jerks. [the animator changes the sound of his voice back to his own] You know, I was always more of a George guy anyway. How about I go back to being the rapier wit who carries this whole operation, and you go back to being the paint‐by‐numbers wannabe artiste. Hm?

Yakko

[breathes deeply] Just walk away, Yakko. Be the bigger man. [the animator shrinks him; high-pitched voice] Small things amuse small minds. GIVE ME MY HEIGHT BACK! [the animator makes him tall and thin] And my width. [the animator stretches him out, completely widen and flat] And my depth!

Yakko

Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines. They gotta be funny, they gotta be irreverent, and most of all, they got to be carefully crafted.

Wakko

But you just wasted yours on. [American accent; imitating Yakko] "Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines."

Yakko

And you just wasted yours on. [Liverpool accent; imitating Wakko] "But you just wasted yours on...'Alright guys, there's a lot of pressure on our first lines.'"

Dot

To be-

Yakko

[covering Dot's mouth] Wait, don't! Make sure it's good first.

Wakko

Yeah, it's all on you, Dot.

Yakko

[quickly interrupts her again by covering her mouth] Maybe something reminiscent of the 1st season?

Wakko

But, modern to show them that we're not your dad's Animaniacs.

Yakko

But, not so modern that you'll alienate your dads because they're a key part of our demographic! [Dot took a deep breath as if she was trying to say something, but she, once again, is interrupted] Don't overthink it.

Dot

[annoyed, bangs her brothers with a huge mallet] 22 years later and I'm still a knockout!

Yakko

Hello, I'm Yakko Warner. All joking aside, reboots are symptomatic of a fundamental lack of originality in Hollywood. A creativity crisis fueled by terrified executives clinging to the past like rats to the debris of a sinking ship.

Dot

Yeah! Have you know shame?!

Here's your check for the Animaniacs reboot, you sellouts!

Wakko

Yeah, but when we sell out, we KNOW we're selling out, so it's cool.

Wakko

We need a doctor.

Yakko

[while holding a phone] We can't. Hippocrates is on vacaction.

Dot

[hops into Yakko's arms] A vacation?! That's a great idea!

Yakko

Ah, Equestrian. The event where the horse does all the work, and the human takes all the credit.

Wakko

[folds his arms] You'd know a lot about "taking all the credit", Mister Countries-of-the-World Song.

Yakko

Finally! Our Giuseppe Arcimboldo tribute sculpture is complete!

Dot

And it only took us three months!

Wakko

Who's Giuseppe Arcimboldo again?

Yakko

I'm glad you asked, Wakko. [begins to sing] In 16th Century Italy... [the doorbell rings] Eh, guess the song will have to wait. [opens the door, and sees an unusual man chuckling, causing him to scream by surprise]

Howdy, I'm your new neighbor. [one of the sound stages is moved and replaced with a barn] I'm Dwayne Lapistol. Just came by to introduce myself an' show ya my buns. [his bum flexes]

Yakko

Goodnight, everybody!

Not those buns, these buns! [brings out cute bunny rabbits]

[smiling] Aw!

Dot

Gentlemen, it's time to go to...WAR!!!

Yakko

WAR!!!

Wakko

[holds up a sandwich] LUNCH!!! [beat] Oops, sorry. War. It's time to go to war! [eats a sandwich]

Dot

[with an extreme close-up] Let's do this!

Yakko

Yakko Warner! The Yak-attack!

Dot

Dot Warner! And don't call me "Dottie"!

Wakko

Wakko Warner! I've got an appetite for destruction!

Yakko

[about the Dingos] Whoa. I thought they were just gonna eat all the bunnies.

Dot

Nope, the only thing that's biting here is the satire.

[tied in a sack in the back of a truck with his remaining "buns"] You can't do this to me! I'm a responsible bun owner! I'll prove it to the world! We all have the right to bear buns! [one last bum flex]

Yakko

Not here. This is a kid's show. [pats the truck]

Dot

After this, no more hillbilly allegors.

Wakko

Oh, I get it! This entire episode has been a metaphor for shoes!

Yakko

[sarcastically] Yeah, Wakko, because America has too much high-capacity shoe violence.

Wakko

Well, what is it then? Eggs? Motorcycles? A variety of salad dressings? What?!

Dot

We'll tell you later when you're a little older.

Dot

He's an influencer, now.

Wakko

I thought he was a shi-tsu.

Yakko

Goodnight, everybody!