It's clear what must be done. We have to burn the school to the ground!
Stan!
Fine, fine. We'll talk to the principal. [Francine walks off. He takes out a lighter] Soon, my pet. Soon I will feed you the world.
“A Smith in the Hand” · Season 1, Episode 9
In this episode: Stan Smith (5), Steve Smith (5), Francine Smith (3)
I don't think Dad likes having me around anymore.
Aw... Now why would you say that?
Because I woke up this morning in the car, fully dressed.
Steve, your father got hurt in a very tender place. He's probably frustrated he can't go to work, or mow the lawn, or clean the gutters. Boy, it's been a while since he's cleaned the gutters.
Hey, maybe until Dad get better, I can clean the gutters.
That's creepy, honey.
[Stan and Francine are making out on the kitchen table. Steve walks in. Stan jumps off the table immediately while Francine is still laying on it]
Steve!
Is this a bad time?
No, no. I was just buffing the table with your mother. [starts doing so]
[Steve enters the bathroom, where Stan is about to "heal" himself]
Dad! There you are!
Of-Of course I'm here. Wh-Where would I be? Alone? Touching myself?
Yeah, right. Only perverts and Democrats do that.
HDr. Heisler
Your breasts are fine. It would be unethical for me to recommend anything larger. But may I suggest a third breast?
I don't think--
HDr. Heisler
Okay, how about two in the back? Or I can combine these two into one fantastic super-boob!
Can I just get a little Botox?
HDr. Heisler
[disappointed] No one ever wants the super-boob.
[bending antennas on TV in anger] Murderer! You killed my son!
I'm still alive, Dad.
Yes, but you're dead inside.
So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
That's right. Or angels will kill you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.