Where's Gloria?
Mike: Oh, she said she'd stop by on her way from work.
Archie: I wish you could say you'd stop by on the way from work.
Mike: (sarcastic) You know Arch, it's really a thrill visiting you.
S3Archie Goes to the Hospital
S3Oh Say, Can You See
Everybody has a little trouble seeing the words close-up after they pass a certain age.
Archie: I told you, it ain't age! It's the ink they use in the newspaper.
I've needed glasses for years, and you're older than I am.
Archie: That's only because I was born first.
(to Kelsey) Why don't you go back to bartender's school and take a course in "shut up"?
You're Bill Mulherin's kid brother.
How do you do it? How do you stay so young?
S3Archie Goes Too Far
Your room is still in my house, which means I got the right to search it.
Mike: (to Gloria) We're living in the Watergate Hotel here.
MMike
What about your father? How can you trust him again? The next thing you know, he's going to be bugging our bed!
Archie: The only bug in your bed is when you hop in it!
Wait a minute, where are you going?
Edith: I'm her mother, that's where I'm going!
S3Class Reunion
(referring to Mavis Pike) She's a women's lib! It means she's not a "Mrs.", and she's not a "Ms." neither.
Archie: What does that make her, a near-Ms.?
Mavis: Edith, I was going to ask you if you've had an interesting life... but he saved me the trouble.
WWillie
Tony Roselli!
Archie: Huh?
Willie: Tony Roselli... I never forget a face!
Archie: You just broke your record.
CClassmate
GOD, he was beautiful!
S3Hot Watch
That's for suppertime, see? And that's the alarm you're gonna hear every night around this time, Edith, to show you that supper should be on the table.
Edith: Well, suppose I'm in another room and I don't hear it?
Gloria: Then you'll hear the old alarm, Ma... Edith, get supper on the table!
Edith: Archie, that sounded just like you!
Archie: Oh, really? Then why don't it make you move?
What the hell am I eating?
Edith: "Yankee Stew."
Archie: Well, the Yankees struck out.
I saw something about a watch like that on Mannix.
Archie: Yeah, what?
Edith: Or was it Let's Make A Deal?
S3Archie Is Branded
I wouldn't have known it from looking at you. You don't look Jewish.
Archie: There is a good reason for that. I ain't Jewish.
MMike
This is Archie Bunker. And I can honestly say that he is not now, nor has he ever been a member of the Jewish faith.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.