Ma, have you been more forgetful lately?
Edith: Forgetful? I don't know, let me think.
Gloria: Ma?
Edith: Gloria, what did you just ask me?
S2 E14Edith's Problem
Nowadays, with simple hormone treatment, there are no unpleasant manifestations.
Edith: Well, my Aunt Elizabeth went through this, and she didn't get manifestations... she got a mustache!
Look at this, an all-bear band.
Edith: A naked band at Disney World?
Well, menopause is a tough time to be going through, especially for nervous types. So he prescribed these here pills.
Mike: Oh, good.
Archie: I gotta take three of them a day.
Oh, she's all right, but for the next couple weeks, but you can't expect to see the regular dingbat flying around here. Till these here pills take effect, you're gonna be looking at super dingbat.
Edith... If you're going to have the change of life, you've got to do it right now! I'm giving ya just 30 seconds; now c'mon, change!
Edith: Can I finish my soup first?
S2 E15Archie and the FBI
Don't be bothering the U.S. government with the Constitution!
Mike: Why, you afraid the government might read it?
BMr. Bradford
How would you describe Mr. Grundy's drinking habits?
Archie: He seldom buys.
Oh well. All that "best buddy" stuff... it's all for kids anyhow.
S2 E16Mike's Mysterious Son
Why are you asking me so many questions? So there's a little boy in the room. Is there anything wrong with having a little boy in the room? Is there a law against having a little boy in the room? It's nice having a little boy in the room. And if you want me to answer any more questions, don't ask me!
Oh, Archie, you're home.
Archie: No, Edith, I'm still at work. What you see standing here is merely a pigment of your imagination.
We have some more talking to do.
Mike: More talking? Gloria, it's 5:30 in the morning. You've said everything there is to say... twice.
Gloria: You miserable creep.
Mike: You said that three times.
Most people's mistakes don't walk in the front door and say, "Hi, Daddy!"
S2 E17Archie Sees a Mugging
Just a minute, I'll tell them.
Mike: Well, you better tell the truth.
Archie: Forget the truth, listen to me!
MMike
(to Gloria) Will you stay out of this, please?
Archie: Hold it! She's making sense. And a husband ought to listen to his wife.
Edith: Archie—
Archie: Dry up!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.