CCoke
What do we have here? Cash!
Edith: You can't have it!
Coke: I beg your pardon? Who's the crook here?
S2 E4Edith Writes a Song
ESEdith's Song
Everyone is someone, if you love them
Love can make a hero from a chump
Love can make a useless man seem useful
Love can grow a flower from a dump
If you dare to reach out to a stranger
You may find you've found a friend indeed
'Cause everyone is someone if you love them
'Cause love is something everybody needs.
S2 E5Flashback: Mike Meets Archie
God bless America, you dumb Polack!
MMike
YOU'RE PREJUDICED! YOU'RE PREJUDICED! YOU'RE PREJUDICED!
S2 E6Edith's Accident
all I've been hearing about is cling peaches, which is comin' out of my ears! Now don't say them two words no more! Now, how did you hit a car?
Edith: Well, that's where the... mmm-MMMM-mmm came in... You told me never to say them two words. (Continuing) You see, I was coming out of the supermarket with my basket full of mmm-MMMM-mmm. And there was Mrs. Duncan with her new baby. I took a peek in the carriage, but I couldn't see the baby too well, he was all...
Archie: Will you get on with the story?
Edith: Well, I knew I had to say something nice about the baby, so I went "Oh! Isn't that a beautiful baby!" And when I went "Oh!", the shopping basket got away from me, rolled down the hill and smashed into this parked car and scratched the fender. And then, this can of mmm-MMMM-mmm... in heavy syrup... jumped out and made a big dent in the hood!
(pause)
Edith: It was a freak accident!
S2 E7The Blockbuster
We got a religious oil burner: It don't work Sundays.
This house is constructed way better than most of the new ones you see around today.
Mike: So are the pyramids, but who'd want to live there?
Archie: You would if they let you in for nothing.
I ain't gonna sell (the house).
Mr. Byrd: Oh? Did something happen to color your decision?
S2 E8Mike's Problem
MMike
Oh, I've decided it's too tough for me, Gloria. I'm going to quit college and get a job.
Gloria: Oh Michael, don't be childish.
Archie: Let him be childish!
I'm going down to Kelcy's saloon... where the only problem is closing time!
S2 E9The Insurance Is Cancelled
It's because of this depression, or recession, or whatever they're calling it.
Mike: Nixon calls it a recent upswing in the economic picture.
What I say ain't got nothing to do with what I think.
Can't you ask me an intelligent question?
Mike: I didn't want to confuse you.
WWendell
Well, Uncle Archie... Let me make this perfectly clear.
Mike: Where have I heard that one before?
LELittle Emmanuel
Archie! Por favor?
Archie: Yeah, pour some more.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.