[ALF is in Willie and Kate's dream where Willie and Kate are senior citizens]
Beautiful day. Another beautiful, boring, lonely, horrible day. I should drop dead.
It could only help.
ALF, go and open the curtain let me watch the sun setting over the ocean.
The curtains are open.
Well, how come I can't see the ocean?
There is no ocean out there, Willie. We live in the valley. It's landlocked. Like your mind.
Kate was right. Let's drop him off in the snow, she used to say. Did I listen?
Oh, keep it down.
Oh, there it is. I see it now. Thank you. [angrily] WAS THAT SO DIFFICULT? [normal] ALF, can you forgive a doddering, senile old man?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I've got work to do, huh?
Okay. Thank you.
[dials the phone] Hello, is this the Taylor Ball Bearings Company? Do you have a Xerox copier. Well, you're in luck because our company recently overstocked on some name-brand toner...
[angrily] HE'S LYING! IT'S A SCAM! DON'T FALL FOR IT!
Did I mention that there's a free gift involved?
No, no, no! Scam! Scam! Scam!
May I call you back? Yes, thank you. [hangs up] What are you doing?
I'm sorry. Go on, make another phone call. I won't interrupt again. I promise. Really.
[old Kate comes out of the kitchen during the grease fire]
Now what?
Grease fire. Curtains, whoosh!
Old, batty, over-medicated.
Look at those seagulls. They carry diseases, you know? I can't prove it, but I know they do.
I hope the kids like these afghans. I'm making them big enough so they can tent their homes in winter.
Better not come in here, the filthy, germ-infested vermin.
Oh, don't worry. I think they're living in Seattle now.
What did I tell you about using the stove without supervision?
Huh?
You know it's off-limits.
Okay, okay.
No good. No damn good! You were right. We should have dropped him off in the snow.
Why don't you read us that nice letter we just got from Lynnie?
Because it came 3 years ago. And I've read it to you 500 times. And it was a postcard!
I worked my whole life to support him. And now he won't even read us our mail.
Then at least describe the stamp. Is that too much to ask?
[on the phone] Hello, Alien Task Force? Yes, I'm an alien and I'd like to turn myself in. I know it involves dissection. That's fine. In fact, I welcome it. [angrily] JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!
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